


I Don't Want To Hurt You...

by stratton1988



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst and Fluff and Smut, Billy Hargrove Tries to Be a Better Person, Emotional Roller Coaster, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Guns N' Roses References, Hawkins (Stranger Things), Hot Sex, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Love, New York City, POV Max, Physical Abuse, Resolved Sexual Tension, Romantic Fluff, Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Shower Sex, Smut, Step-Sibling Incest, Step-siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:30:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 31,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25140136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stratton1988/pseuds/stratton1988
Summary: The totally weird story of Max and Billy starting in the late 1980's. Season 3 never happens or if it does Billy avoids the mind flayer. Most moments are from Max's point of view first. She is very confused by her complicated feelings for Billy and what is takes to turn her on. One year she hates him and the following year she can’t stop staring at him.After a big fight with Neil, Billy splits to NYC to get the hell out of Hawkins. Billy is shocked that Max will miss him. Years later, Max is almost 18 and determined to find Billy. They both realize that there is a bond, a connection, something deeper between them because of their destructive shared childhood. Billy has grown as a person, but Max is lost back in Hawkins and trying to figure out who she is convinced Billy is the only person who knows what she really needs.There is lots of fun sexual tension, explicit sexual scenes and smut especially in later chapters, a homecoming, nights in NYC, and familiar stranger things characters.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove & Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Billy Hargrove/Maxine "Max" Mayfield
Comments: 54
Kudos: 52





	1. Civil War

The late 1980’s:

“Are you sure you don’t need us to go with you?” Susan said.

Neil huffed as Susan watched her daughter get out of their sedan and out onto the bus stop. It was breezy but pleasant out but Max’s adrenaline had her body temperature high and her cheeks flushed.

“Or maybe we should have given you a plane ticket?” Susan bit her lip nervously. “New York is so far away from here… and so big.”

“Seriously mom, I’m almost eighteen. I promise I will be safe.”

She hugged her daughter and looked back at her husband who had already shifted the car from park into reverse ready to depart. When Neil wasn’t looking, she gave her daughter a note and winked as she put it in her jacket pocket. “Be safe.” She smiled. “We’ll see you in a couple days.”

Max watched the car drive away and let out a sigh of relief. New York City. The reality of it hit her. She was going to do this. She was taking a 12-hour bus ride to a city where she knew no one except one random friend from high school that she barely spoke to IN high school and not since then.

Out of the blue, Max had called Shelby Nichols from her past and asked her if she could sleep on her couch for a weekend. They were not really friends in high school. The girl had been very popular. She was a cheerleader, a year older than Max, and ran in a completely different crowd, but Max figured she was actually always a nice person despite her bitchy friends plus her parents had money so her place was probably not gross.

When she called her, Shelby couldn’t have been more excited about her coming to stay. This caused Max to cynically wonder if Shelby ever slept with her step-brother at some point. Then she figured she was being ridiculous and who cared anyway. Shelby said she had roommates but they had friends crash there all the time. It’s just what people do in the city. So Max was going to do it.

She got on the bus and immediately remembered why she hated bus rides. It felt damp inside with weak recycled air conditioning and everyone looked miserable. She took a seat in the middle of the bus and sat by the window hoping no one would sit next to her. She started rummaging through her giant backpack grabbing her yellow Sony Walkman and pressed play. Her brother had left his tape recorder and she was able to record her favorite song from the local college radio station onto cassette tapes. She always missed the first few bars or got too much of the DJ babbling, but it worked. She sat back and relaxed as Guns N’ Roses, Faster Pussycat and Motley Crue came across the headphones.

As the door closed and the bus pulled away from the station, Max thought about her plan. Shelby lived on the Upper East Side. She had no idea where that was but figured she’d just get in a cab and tell the driver the address. Shelby said the subway was too confusing if she didn’t know her way around.

Max also had a secret plan. She wanted to see her step-brother, Billy. She touched her necklace and she thought about him. He had split town so many years ago and no one had a heard a word from him since. They didn’t even talk about him. It’s like he never existed.

She couldn’t blame him for leaving. He hated them. He hated their town. Most of all, he hated his dad, her step dad, Neil who was physically and mentally abusive to Billy. It wasn’t until she grew up did she understand the extent of it.

One fateful day after Billy had left, Max got a very hard black and blue forming slap across the face for talking back to Neil and she realized the buffer that Billy provided. She suddenly saw a side to her step brother she didn’t want to admit he had as he consciously… or subconsciously protected her from possible abuse. After the slap occurred, things were different.

Max got really quiet ignoring both her parents. She decided to stay out of the way and out of her home as much as possible. She spent all of her time with her friends and her boyfriend Lucas. Her mother knew what was going on and she also seemed to retreat dealing with her own issues. Her mother seemed powerless. Plus, for some reason her mom loved her husband.

Max focused on her school work and learned she was actually a pretty decent writer. She wrote poems and song lyrics and didn’t know she had a talent until her senior year English teacher, Mr. Bailey, suggested she apply to colleges with English writing programs. She did. And shockingly, she got into several.

But as of graduation, Max hadn’t given anyone an answers or financial deposits. She kept pushing her acceptances off and now it was probably too late. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to go this year or if she could push it a year.

Was she staying around for her mother? She wasn’t sure but every time she brought it up Neil started cursing about money. Max was paralyzed and did nothing. It was only after her friends found out about her acceptance into Columbia and a partial scholarship did they make her promise she’d at least visit. If she got a job, she might be able to swing it herself. It was an idea.

Maybe it was dumb. Lucas told her she was brilliant and could do anything she wanted. She tried to think about him and his words of encouragement as she doubted herself. It’s funny how good friends can become your family when your family sucks.

New York City. She sighed again. She had NO idea where Billy lived or worked or anything about him anymore. She just knew he moved there. That’s all! What was her plan here. Well, she knew his name. Maybe he was in the phone book? Was this idea totally stupid she said second guessing her true motivation for the thousandth time?

She was trying to pinpoint when her feelings went from hatred to curiosity to something she couldn’t quite define with him. She wasn’t an idiot, she knew she witnessed abuse growing up and that had to affect her in some way. She was coming to terms with herself, her identity, and her emotions that she usually ignored when they got too complicated.

Lucas was always trying to get her to say more, talk more. He was so sweet. She didn’t think she wanted sweet… all the time. Sweet didn’t turn her on. The opposite of sweet did.

Why was that? Was it because of what she witnessed growing up? Or was she just born this way? She willed Lucas to take control more but then again, that’s not him. She smiled thinking what a sweetheart he was to her. Did she deserve that kindness?

She pressed the recline button on her seat and felt the seat move maybe an inch. “Shitty seat.” She said to herself.

She sighed remembering the first time she really noticed Billy.

It was right before he left. It was the end of her freshman year in high school and she and Billy had barely spoken in over a year. They truly ignored each other. Which was fine with her. He was an asshole and hated her anyway.

He reluctantly gave her rides in his car in silence and that was it. But she saw the ways girls looked at him. She kind of got it. His hair, his jaw line, his striking blue eyes, and his flirty smile covering up so much anger.

He would catch her staring at him as she wondered what all the hottest girls in school were seeing. He would give her the finger most times or ask obnoxiously, “What the fuck do you want?” She knew he was cute, but he was still a royal dick most days.

One night he came home more drunk that she had ever remembered. He usually didn’t get plastered like his dad did but tonight was a true exception. Their parents were out of town at a wedding for one night so she knew Billy was going to do whatever the fuck he wanted. Meanwhile, she played video games with her friends, hooked up a little with Lucas for awhile, and went to bed at reasonable hour for a teenager.

She awoke in the middle of the night because she heard loud clanging in the kitchen. She normally would ignore it assuming Neil was angry with Billy, but her parents weren’t even there. A lamp shattered in the hallway scaring the shit out of her finally forcing her to leave the safety of her room.

She ran out in her sleep clothes – a thin white tank top and sleep shorts - and found Billy and a girl laughing and drinking and creating a total mess. They were making out against the kitchen counter and breaking everything in their path from the door, to the living room, to where they stood.

“Billy!” Max found herself uncharacteristically yelling at him “What the hell – we’re going to get in so much trouble!”

The girl looked up and said laughing, “Oh don’t be such a bitch.”

Billy’s mood changed immediately and he untangled himself from the girl yelling more loudly than he meant. “Don’t” and he grabbed her arm, “Don’t fucking talk to her!” the shocked girl looked at Billy and stormed out of the house.

“Just great!” Billy screamed after her.

Max saw the mess of broken glass all over the floor and Billy’s weird way of defending her and decided she didn’t want anything to do with whatever was going on. She ran back to her room slamming and locking the door.

“Get back here Max!” he yelled and she could feel him sprinting down to her room. Her stomach jumped. She screamed a high-pitched horror movie scream despite herself. “Open the door!” he yelled back as he tried to jiggle the lock banging hard on the wood door.

She could feel the adrenaline in her system. What was he really going to do? He wouldn’t hurt her. Neil would kill him.

“What do you want?!” She yelled back. “Go away!”

“Open it!” he banged harder. “Now!”

She quickly unlocked it and ran back to the corner of her room near the opposite wall and the door came slamming open.

He tore over to her quickly, still pretty drunk, and grabbed her upper arms pushing her hard against the wall. His hip and legs secured her body against the wall so she could barely move. “Stop!” she screamed unable to move squirming in his grasp.

“You little shit!” he yelled tightening his hold, and then their eyes locked. He stared down at her burning a hole through her. His blue eyes dark with anger piercing into her as she looked at him. They were closer than they’d ever been in their entire lives. She realized she was holding her breath.

She couldn’t speak. She finally breathed out “Billy – I-”

“Stay away from me.” He said deeply locked in her gaze.

He squeezed his hands more tightly on her upper arms gripping her urgently. He was breathing heavy while looking down at her. It was only seconds, but it felt like minutes. She felt his eyes travel from her eyes to her mouth down to her heaving breasts in her tiny tank top and then back up again. He huffed.

“Okay.” She whispered. “Billy, I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want to hurt you, Max.” He put his face closer whispering in her ear and trying to sound in control. His voice was calmer like he was talking to himself. His forehead touched the wall for balance. She imagined his eyes must be closed. His hands squeezed her upper arms again and he was pushing her against the wall even more forcefully with his one leg now against her body holding her in place. He smelled like hard alcohol.

Her elbows were bent and her hands were free despite not being able to move much. She should have tried pushing him away or attempted to kick with the little amount of movement she could achieve, even if it would have been fruitless to try, but instead her hands grabbed onto his sides, grasping the soft fabric of his shirt tightly.

She suddenly pulled him closer to her. He was against her.

“You could never hurt me...” she started whispering back into his ear suggestively and then she looked up slowly into his eyes as he jerked his head up to look at her bewilderingly, “Billy.” She finished and locked eyes again.

She was more turned on than she had ever been in her life as they stared at each other. What the hell was wrong with her? Was she into her asshole brother? Did she want to get pushed around? Or was she just bored and this wasn’t boring? Did she know what she was doing? She was so confused but it was the most exciting thirty seconds she’d ever experienced.

He let go abruptly and took a stumbling step back looking at her quizzically. His brow was furrowed. She was just staring at him. She put her hands against the wall behind her to steady herself and bit her bottom lip watching him waiting for him to say something.

In that moment, he saw that she wasn’t scared. On the contrary. She also wasn’t some little kid anymore. She wasn’t scrawny and pole thin, she looked like… like the girls he dated, only softer, sweeter, less slutty with wild messy hair falling over her shoulders that smelled like his shampoo. She was actually really hot. What the fuck.

“Clean up that mess out there.” He said angrily stumbling out of the room.

She stayed there for a minute against the wall. She had a knot of excitement in her stomach and if Lucas was there to have sex with her at that moment, she knew it would have been amazing. She had to close her eyes and calm herself before she went and did what Billy told her to do.

After that night, Max spent the rest of the summer avoiding Billy. She was so confused by her own feelings she decided it was best to ignore them. She felt like there was something wrong with her. How can you hate someone one year and not stop staring at them the next? Was he looking at her too or was that just her imagination?

He was the hottest lifeguard at the pool. He was gorgeous, self-destructive, a real bad boy that every girl and honestly every guy wanted to be with, but she also knew the truth. She saw something else behind his tough exterior. She saw something she recognized in herself.

Yes, he had horrible anger issues and beat up just about any guy who looked at him wrong, but even his fights weren’t as often as high school. He seemed different now. She knew he would never hurt her. He never swung a punch at anyone in their home. He never defended himself against his dad and the more she thought about it, the more he seemed to be shielding her and her mom from Neil.

She and Billy were both so clearly messed up because of their fucking parents. They didn’t know what normal love was. They didn’t have the home life everyone else seemed to have in good old Hawkins Indiana. They shared that. Only they knew the truth. Maybe they could help each other move on from it and become normal she thought?

For the rest of the summer, she pushed her confusing feelings for him to the side. She wasn’t even sure if he remembered their interaction in her bedroom. He never mentioned it and things went back to the way they were before with him ignoring her.

Max focused her energies on her amazing and kind boyfriend, Lucas. The sex was new and fun, nothing mind-blowing, but Lucas was a solid good guy. They experienced firsts together and it made her happy. He was the person she should be with. She just wished she was as crazy about him as he was about her. It wasn’t long after that Billy and Neil had their final fight that made her step-brother split town for good.

***

Max brought herself back from her reverie to the hum of the bus speeding down the highway. Only ten more hours until New York City. Great. She knew she’d have to use the disgusting bus bathroom if she didn’t get some sleep soon. Luckily no one sat next to her. Max sighed and closed her eyes and thought back to the day that Billy left Hawkins and their home… for good.

The summer was over. She was aware he had been thinking about leaving for some time but would he ever actually do it? He had no money. He could sell his car but he loved that car too much. Plus, no one left this town. The pool had closed and he really didn’t have many future prospects. Half his friends were at a nearby college, and the other half were in their basements smoking weed going nowhere. He had slept with practically every girl in town and there was absolutely nothing holding him there.

It was very late one night and everyone was in for the night in their respected rooms or so Max though. Max heard the familiar sound of raised voices and fighting between her step dad and her step-brother. “If I leave, I’m leaving forever. You will never see me again.” Billy shouted as Neil pushed him up against a wall after another drunken argument.

“Trust me. No one would miss you.” His father’s deep voice yelled back.

Max heard that and sucked in her breath. She was in her bedroom and could hear every nasty word. She’d miss him she realized suddenly and that pain hit her in the gut. “Don’t fucking leave me” she whispered to herself.

It was an insight she never admitted before and it was all consuming. She didn’t dare come out. She knew her mother was doing the same behind her bedroom door. They had been in this situation a thousand times. Why didn’t they do anything? Why were they both so paralyzed? It was something beyond fear holding them back.

“You can go fuck yourself. You’re a real asshole Neil.” Billy said. It was the first time she ever remembered that he talked back. Shit.

“What was that? What the fuck did you just say!? You disrespectful ungrateful little shit.” And Neil punched him in the gut. Billy toppled over not fighting back and there was a long silence. “I want you out of here!”

“How about one more for the road dear old dad?” Billy almost laughed as he looked up from his kneeling position on the living room floor. His dad punched him again in the face and Max could see a spray of blood on the floor through the crack in her door. Her hands flew up to her mouth to stop from screaming.

“Clean this up.” His father snapped. He grabbed a beer, his car keys, and walked out the front door. “Good for nothing…”

Max waited for the door to slam before she bolted out of her room in what she was sleeping in just her pink soft t-shirt and blue cotton sleep shorts. She hadn’t really talked much to her brother at all since he pinned her against her wall, but this was a particularly bad hit.

“Billy!” Max whispered and ran over kneeling down beside him.

“It’s fine.” He said getting up slowly. “Jesus Max, Go away.”

She could tell Billy was pretty sober. “I’m… I – I should have..” she stammered embarrassed. She was embarrassed for her, for him, for their family. Ashamed.

He said nothing. He looked at her noticing how her shirt clung to her body. How her long hair was all messy around her. Her lips red and her green eyes were full of worry.

“I’m fine.” He said again. “A busted lip. Just what the girls love.” He said smiling a bit.

“You can go now.” He stood up looking down at her again. She got up slowly and walked back to her room but turned around.

“Are you really leaving?” she asked.

“Yup.” He replied quickly. “For good. This toxic family will never see me again.”

She didn’t know why but her eyes welled up in tears. He looked at her strangely.  
He was reminded again as she stood there at her full height that she was a grown up. She was cute, but still annoying.

“That upsets you?” he said shocked.

“I...I guess so.” She muttered looked down.

“Oh, I get it” he realized, “because Neil will have to beat on someone else now.”

She looked up sharply, “No! That’s not it.” She admitted without thinking. “I’m going to be all alone. I’ll…I’ll miss you.”

He huffed and laughed a little. “I doubt it.”

He turned away and started making himself a glass of water. She was still staring at him.

“Do you need something else?” he said turning around leaning on the counter to take a sip of water. He winced a bit as he tasted blood.

“Where you even going to say goodbye?”

“Not much for goodbyes.”

“Where are you going to go?” She asked.

“New York City.”

“New York?” She couldn’t believe it. “Do you even know anyone there?” It seemed so scary and far and dirty.

“God, why do you care? No and I’m leaving in the morning. I’m over 21. I can do what I want now.” He stated more to himself not looking at her and walked by her to his room.

She couldn’t believe it. “Billy. Wait.” She said as he tried to pass. She touched his arm gently. “I… how can I find you?”

He couldn’t believe she even cared. She never cared before. They barely spoke. They basically ignored each other since she was in middle school and almost hit him with a bat.

“You can’t.” he said staring at her.

He was so close to her. She didn’t know what to say. She felt dumb tears falling down her face. Why was she crying?

“Really?” He said without sympathy.

She didn’t know what came over her but she lunged forward and hugged him as best as she could. He didn’t return the hug, but didn’t move either. It was probably the only time they had ever touched each other in kindness.

“Shit.” He said trying to be a little bit nice and then patted her arm signaling the hug was over.

She looked up into his gorgeous blue eyes and saw total bewilderment. He then reached behind his neck and took off his necklace.

“Here, you want this?” he asked not really thinking just wanting this bizarre moment to end.

She looked at it. He’d worn the necklace almost everyday since she’d known him.

“Yes” Max said quickly and took it in her hand. “Thank you.”

“See ya kid. Stay out of trouble.” He said and walked into his room not looking back.

He was gone in the morning and she never saw him again.

***

Max opened her eyes on the bus and realized she was playing with the necklace absentmindedly. She was cold because the AC was blasting right on her. She put her hands in her pocket and remembered her letter from her mom. She opened it and found five $20 bills!

_“Dear Max,_  
_I miss you already. I want you to know how very proud I am of you. I’m so impressed that you are going to New York City. Please be careful and call me. I’ll get on a plane if you need help. I’m sorry if I haven’t been there for you more, but I love you._  
_I think I know why you are going to New York. I hope I’m right and that you might look up your brother. I wish we did more for him. I don’t know where he is, but I heard he worked at a bar called the Parkside lounge or something in the downtown area. Be extra careful._  
_Love, Mom_  
_PS. Don’t tell Neil but I saved up some money for you. $100. Enjoy!”_

Max stared at the letter for a while and was thrilled with the cash. She didn’t have much. Neil gave her an emergency credit card but basically said he would disown her if she used it. She wanted to cut it up the second he gave it to her. What a dick.

Wow. So her mom knew what she was thinking. Not so surprising, but surprising that she had this new information! It made Max feel like her crazy idea to find her step-brother was not so crazy after all.

She sighed and looked out the window. It had been so long. It had been so many many years of walking by his old room wondering if Billy was okay and if he ever thought about her and Hawkins at all? It was strange that no one mentioned him in their home. She missed his presence. Did he ever miss her? Did he ever think about her? Did he think she was pretty? Why did she care so much? Would she always be a kid sister to him? Her head spun as she thought in circles.

The rest of the ride to New York City was boring and long but Max had her music and slept a few hours. She arrived exhausted and did just what Shelby told her to do. She got outside.

The streets of Manhattan were crowded and all the bright city lights made it look earlier than it was. She looked for a cab but didn’t know how to get one. She saw a police man and asked, “How do I get a cab to stop?”. He looked at her and pointed to a long line outside Penn station full of people waiting to get a cab ride too.

She got herself on it and waited thirty minutes until it was finally her turn. With her oversized backpack, she climbed into the car that was beyond disgusting inside and gave the driver the address. Slowly the lights and traffic of Penn Station were behind her and she was traveling uptown. The cab went through a park and about twenty minutes later she was in front of a highrise apartment building on the Upper East Side. She rang the bell for 12B and realized it was almost 10pm and she was exhausted.

“Max?” she heard in the speaker.

“Yes! It’s me” Max called out recognizing Shelby’s voice.

“Come on up!” and the buzzer buzzed loudly.

Max walked up the four flights of stairs with her backpack and headed down the hallway to the apartment.

Shelby had the door open and immediately gave her a big hug. “Wow, I can’t believe you’re here.”

Shelby looked exactly the same. Perky and pretty with long brown hair and brown eyes. Max was so happy to see a smiling face after such a long journey.

“Ah, I know. Thank you so much for letting me stay. I know we didn’t know each other so well back in high school – “

She laughed, “Oh my goodness, it’s SO great to see a familiar Hawkins High face!”

Max thought Shelby was going to do a cheer or something, but she was relieved none the less. She met Shelby’s two roommates who were really cool and more chill. Shelby had her own room but the other two girls shared a room with two single beds that barely fit.

“Renting in NYC is like totally crazy” Shelby explained. “And you want to be in a good area.”

Shelby showed her the couch telling her she could crash there for the weekend. There’s one bathroom but the girls were all in school or working so during the day no one was really there. The door locked automatically when anyone left. Shelby said she and the girls usually got dinner with a couple friends all together on Saturday nights and went out somewhere fun if she wanted to join tomorrow.

“Wow that’s so nice. I’ll see where I am, but thank you.” Max said.

“Well, we’re all really busy with school but I don’t want you stuck outside if you’re  
exploring. If you can’t find us, we’re usually at the local bar on the corner just outside. The bartender has a key if you get really desperate. But someone is usually here.”

“That sounds perfect. I’ll be fine.” Max said.

“So, why are you here anyway?”

“Oh, I got into a writing program at Columbia so I’m going to check it out at some point.”

“Oh, that’s so cool. Columbia is awesome.”

“Should I just take a cab again?”

“Um, probably easiest. But it adds up. I’ll take you on the subway tomorrow if you want?”

Max hadn’t thought Shelby would want to hang out with her but was happy not to be alone the entire weekend. There was silence for a second.

“Do you want a drink or something?” Shelby asked grabbing a diet coke for herself.

“Ah, no I’m okay.” Max thought as she settled into the couch.

“Hey” Shelby smiled sitting down in the chair diagonal from her. “How’s that hot older brother of yours?”

Max eyes widened.  
“Oh, ah… he’s my step brother, we’re not actually related.”

“Oh okay, step-brother. He never actually like spoke to me but I have say, he was the hottest guy in town!” she kept smiling waiting for more information.

Max froze “um, he’s here… I think… In New York City.”

Shelby jumped up. “Oh so fun! When will you see him?”

“Um, I don’t know. He doesn’t really know I’m here.”

She smirked. “A surprise?”

“Sort of”.

“Actually,” Max said tentatively, “Do you know where this bar, the Parkside Lounge is? I guess it’s downtown?”

Shelby thought for a second.

“I think it’s like a really dive bar with music on the lower east side. I wouldn’t go there alone at night. But we could all go maybe? You just take the 6 train downtown probably to Spring Street or something.”

“Spring street” Max whispered. She could do this… alone.

“Here’s our phone number here if you get lost or stuck or anything this weekend and there’s a diner right next door too if you’re hungry but really help yourself to anything here. We’ve got tons of cereal basically.” Shelby smiled.

“Thank you… really so much” Max said gratefully holding back a yawn.

“Anytime.” She smiled. “See you later.” Shelby said and made her way back into her bedroom.

Max washed up and passed out in minutes.


	2. Paradise City

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max tracks down Billy...

****

Max woke up the next day feeling very refreshed. It was almost 11. She was sleeping the day away. Shit. She didn’t feel like going to Columbia today. She wanted to find Billy.

She showered, got ready using all the girl’s styling products, blow dried her hair, put on light makeup, and ate their cereal. She felt so independent and free. She didn’t need to be quiet because of Neil she realized. She turned on their stereo and blasted the music. Slowly at first, then super loud. She danced up and down the apartment. This was amazing! She heard a banging. “SHUT IT OFF!” coming from a wall. “Oh shit.” Max said and turned the music down. Guess apartment living isn’t the same as a home. Noted.

Max took out what she didn’t need from her backpack and packed it with what she thought she could use walking around the city: A zip up sweatshirt, her little purse, some makeup, an Anne Rice book, her Walkman, and a water bottle. She had on a cute outfit. She knew everyone dressed up on the upper east side so she had on what she thought was pretty cool: Jeans, black belt, and a fitted body suit and her low black studded boots.

She grabbed her fake leather black jacket she had been wearing on the bus and felt she was ready to go. She looked in the mirror and played with the necklace Billy gave her. She put on her backpack and thought, okay, I’m a New Yorker, I can do this and left.

She walked towards the subway and tried to get the lay of the land. It was almost 3pm when she finally figured out the downtown 6 train and uptown and how to get to Spring Street. If Billy worked at a bar, maybe he would be there by now anyway. She bought a token, and followed the signs for downtown. It seemed easy enough even though she clearly had no idea what she was doing.

She sat on the subway seat and watched all the people get on and off, doors open and close, unintelligible announcements on the speakers, and after many stops, she finally got out of the subway at Spring Street and was completely lost. She had no idea where to go so she just started wondering trying not to look like a tourist. She walked around a few streets but was just walking in circles so she finally went into a little convenience store. “Parkside lounge?” she asked the guy behind the counter.

The person didn’t speak English. “Do you know it?” Max asked again. The person shook his head.

“Hey” Said a girl around her age with a sleeve tattoo sitting nearby. Her whole arm tattooed! “Hey my dad doesn’t speak English. Parkside is three blocks south, over an avenue, you can’t miss it.” She looked down at her magazine again.

“Oh thank you so much I’m just visit-“

“Great. I don’t care.” The girl said without looking up.

Max left the store quickly and walked three blocks south and guessed at which direction to walk the avenue and finally found the bar. By this time, it was near dinner and she was hungry again.

She walked into the Parkside Lounge. It was dirty. It was dark. It looked sticky. She was clearly underage. It was the most dive scary place she’d ever been… Max realized she loved it.

There were music posters all over the walls of her absolute favorite bands and it was pretty empty except for the people that worked there. A big intimidating guy with lots of tattoos came up to her “We’re not open, bathrooms for customers only, and you’re underage.”

“Oh um, I.” She mumbled, “I’m looking for someone that I think works here?”

“Who?” he demanded.

“Um, Billy Hargrove?”

The guy looked at her not giving any information away. “Sorry, you’ll have to come back when he’s working.”

“Oh.” She looked down. “I’m his ah, I’m his sister.”

The guy smiled. “You’re Hargrove’s little sister. Damn.”

“Um, yeah.” She said again. “Do you know where he is?”

“Yeah, he lives around the corner. A real shit hole, but two doors down. I don’t know anything else, sorry kid.” He said and turned away.

Wow Max thought. I’m so close!

It was getting late, but she was determined. The golden hour light streamed through the city streets reflecting off the buildings as the sun slowly started to set. Damn it. She should have done this earlier.

She walked two doors over and saw several buildings with what looked like shabby apartments. Which one she thought. She stood at the doorstep of one of the buildings staring at it for a while willing the answer to come to her. She clearly looked lost.

“You coming in honey?” A very tall person with thigh high boots said holding the door as he was leaving.

“Ah yeah” she said and walked up to the door. “Thanks.” She mumbled. She looked at the apartments numbers on the mailbox sign and they all had names by them. Hargrove. Right there! 4D. Wow. That’s it. He lives here!!

She walked up the four flights of very dusty stairs and stood in front of apartment 4D and let out a big deep breath. What if he wasn’t there? What if he didn’t want to see her? Omg, was that a mouse? She jumped and quickly knocked.

Nothing. She knocked again. Shit. This was a dumb plan.

The door finally opened.

It was Billy.

“What!?” he was saying sounding very annoyed as he opened it abruptly. He stared at her. “Holy shit Max.” he stared. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I um… I came to find you.” She answered timidly.

He looked at her again not believing what he was seeing.

“Um… are you going to let me in?” She asked nervously.

“Ah, yeah, okay.” He said recovering and letting her inside warily.

“Is this okay?” she asked after a second as she put her backpack down on the square wood flooring inside and he shut the door. He turned around to look at her like she wasn’t real.

“Yeah, I mean, yeah it’s fine.” He finally said. Was he happy to see her? “I’m just really surprised is all. This is really unexpected.” He said again staring at her finally composing himself. He had on jeans and a casual button down. He looked almost exactly as she remembered.

“Should I come back another time?” she asked feeling so stupid as they stood in the hallway not moving.

“Oh no, no, it’s fine…”

“Really?” she was feeling so emotional. Damn it. Keep it together Max!

“Yes, hey, it’s good to see you.” He meant it.

She flung herself into him and squeezed. She almost burst into tears but kept it inside.

“Hey okay, don’t hurt me here.” He sort of hugged her back.

“I’m sorry.” She pulled back quickly realizing they weren’t really a hugging type of family. “I just. I just didn’t think I’d find you. I got lost… and it was getting dark out and…a mouse attacked me…and” She looked up into his eyes.

“Maxine Mayfield scared? I don’t believe it.”

“I wasn’t” she lied.

“It’s okay. It can get pretty sketchy around here at night, but you’re a tough kid.” He said and led her to the couch.

“Here sit down. Let me get you some water.” He got a glass and turned on the sink for tap water.

She sat down and felt totally relieved. What a dumb journey. She went from one couch to another and you’d think she survived a war.

He sat down across from her on the coffee table giving her the water. She drank the entire thing and gave the glass back to him. He put it next to him. He was watching her the whole time.

“Wow Max thirsty?” he started.

She smiled.

“It’s so crazy to see you. You look so different.” He commented.

“Good different?” she asked.

“Yeah… I mean, you were a little shit kid before, now you look like you’re ready… you’re ready... to get the hell out of Hawkins.” He finished.

“I think I am” she said seriously.

They were silent for a second.

“Shit.” He ran his fingers through his hair that was shorter but still looked so damn good, “I really don’t think about that place anymore.”

“It still sucks” Max said.

“Figured it would.”

More silence.

“So, like… what’s up?”

“Um” she stammered. “I don’t know.” She felt so dumb. He clearly thought this was just a quick visit.

“Did you really come to find me?” he asked incredulously.

“Ah…” she started. “Well, I told Neil and mom that I was going to look at a school, but I came to find you. Yes.” She said admitting it out loud.

“Well, you found me.” He was annoyed. His tone changed. Shit, she shouldn’t have brought up stupid Neil.

“Max, you do have a place to stay right?”

“Oh yes… I’m staying uptown… with a girlfriend”

“Okay cool.” He seemed very relieved.

Silence again.

“Um, I went to that Parkside Lounge place looking for you.”

“Oh Max!” he chuckled. “That place is not for you. How did you even know to go there?”

“Do you really work there?”

“Yeah, on and off. I’m off tonight.”

“Oh” she lit up. “Do you think um, maybe we can hang out?” He looked at her and thought for a minute. Didn’t they hate each other?

“I mean, if you’re busy it’s okay” she stammered again.

“No, No, It’s fine…. ah sure.” He finally said. “I just need to make a phone call.”

He got up and went to the phone on the wall and dialed. “Yeah, can we meet up tomorrow? Yeah. Okay, no, you’re not gonna believe it but my little sister is in town. Yeah, I know. Okay cool. You got it.”

He hung up the phone.

“Step sister.” She said.

“Huh?”

“Oh, it’s just step sister. We’re not actually related.” She said again.

“Okay. Little step sister.” He said seeming to finally adjust to her presence. “You hungry?”

“YES!” she said. “I’m so hungry.”

“Okay, let’s go get some burgers and maybe they’ll even serve you. Say you’re 21 if anyone asks.”

“Yes – Okay!” she said excitedly.

“Whatever.” He half smiled. “Shall we?”

“Yes, I gotta pee so badly though.”

“Sure – down the hall.”

She jumped up and hurried down the tiny hall. The apartment was smaller than anything she’d ever seen. There was one window that looked out onto the street and even though it was closed, Max could still hear honking and ambulances and loud city noises. There was a little galley kitchen within the small living room with a super tiny couch. The short hallway had three doors. One she assumed was a closet, the other his bedroom, and the last was probably the bathroom. It had exactly one faded blue washcloth and one matching towel and off yellow color tiling throughout. Everything needed a good scrubbing and looked and felt so old. The window in the bathroom looked out onto a dirty brick wall.

She fixed herself up, took down her hair, put on some lip gloss and walked out to meet Billy who was grabbing a light jacket. She left her big backpack, grabbed her little purse, and followed him.

As he was locking the door he looked at her again “You look so grown-up. I can’t get over it.” He smiled. A smile! She thought. He looked so handsome when he smiled.

She blushed. “Thanks.”

“Do you still have that boyfriend? Sinclair?”

“Ah, yeah, I guess so. We’re on and off.”

“He’s a good guy?”

“Yeah, he’s great.”

They chatted as they walked down the stairs. Well she chatted and he listened. First, she made a comment about the weather and then she told him where she was staying. He didn’t remember Shelby from high school at all but was glad she had a place to crash. She told him about her gross bus ride and her adventures on the subway. He listened and seemed almost amused with her stories as they walked down the seedy lower east side streets of New York. She was determined to break through his tough exterior.

“I don’t remember you talking so much.” He commented.

“Ah, I guess you don’t know many high school girls anymore.” She smiled.

“True.” He said motioning for her to cross the street with him.

“It’s kind of chaotic down here, downtown I mean.” she mentioned more to herself.

“You get use to it” he said looking around the streets. “I love it. It’s definitely not boring. Like I know that homeless guy. He’s there acting crazy every night, but hey he has a good singing voice.”

They walked by him and the homeless man belted out loudly to them “Everybody… has a bellybutton.” In a sing song way.

“He’s accurate with his lyrics too!” Max said.

Billy almost chuckled, dropped a quarter in the guy’s cup, and kept walking. He took out a cigarette from his pack in his pocket and lit up.

They went to a little tavern on a tree lined side street that served hamburgers and fries. There were just a handful of people inside. It was dusk outside but the lights from the city streets shone brightly outside the bar. There was a quiet energy inside that made the place feel like the coolest place Max had ever been and it probably was.

“I know it looks rundown but the food is actually really good. And they don’t card.”

“It’s perfect.” Max said.

They sat down by a window and were immediately served two bud lights.

“You drink right?” he asked.

“Yes” she smiled. “I just don’t get wasted or anything.”

“Do you smoke?”

“Like gross cigarettes like you?” she said.

“Ouch” he smiled, “no, I mean pot.”

“Oh… yes. Actually mostly.” She said thinking of her friends in Hawkins. There wasn’t much else to do except smoke pot and play video games. She was actually really good at playing video games high.

“Look at you. Maxine Mayfield all grown up.” He sat back and really soaked her in watching her.

She blushed again.

“Are you really here to find me?” He asked again.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

She didn’t know exactly. “Um.” She thought.

“I don’t believe you actually missed your mean older brother.” He chuckled loosening up with each sip of beer.

“Step brother” she laughed.

“Whatever. I thought you hated me. We did not get along if I remember correctly.”

“I know…maybe I was worried about you? I walk by your empty bedroom everyday and I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

He stared at her waiting for more.

“Well, I’m alive. Is that it?”

“I guess” she took another sip of beer feeling her defenses come down some more. “I guess I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? For what?”

“For not helping you more. For not seeing your side more. With… with everything.”

He looked at her and finished his beer. He signaled the waitress to give him another.

He sighed.

“I’m sorry I didn’t help out more with your dad. He’s… He’s… “

“He’s a fucking asshole” Billy finished.

“Yeah.” She said looking down.

“Look, I don’t know what to say. I don’t care anymore. I’m so past all that shit. And you were a little kid. Your mom on the other hand, not sure why she married my loser dad and watched him kick the shit out of me, but you… you were a kid. A tough kid if I remember, but one that he could break.”

So he WAS protecting her. She felt embarrassed. Shame. Incredible guilt.

“I guess. I just wish I helped you more. And thanked you….for taking all the hits? I see now that you might have been protecting me. I could have made things easier… I guess.” She said quietly. “I get it now.”

“It’s fine Max really.” Billy seemed irritated.

There was silence again and Max watched Billy look out the window deep in thought or maybe he just wanted to escape the conversation. Finally Max spoke up.

“He hit me”. She saw Billy clench up and she felt his anger when he responded loudly causing people to stare at him.

“That mother fucking asshole. I should have killed him!”

Max was surprised by his outburst and that Billy would defend her like that now. “It’s fine!” she said loudly. “It was awhile ago. It was one time.”

“Max, it’s not fine. That’s never fine.” He said angrily.

“I know.” She looked down. “But in that moment, I kind of got it. Got why you left. I only experienced one percent of what you did and I wanted to run. I don’t even get why you stayed so long.”

“Me either.” Billy said. “I had free room and board. But at some point, it’s not worth it.”

There was silence again.

“So how is old Neil and your mother?” he asked pretending not to care.

“Let’s see… he’s still a dick, drinking and smoking like it’s going out of style and my mom… I don’t know. I don’t hate her as much as I use to when things were bad. I think she’s just surviving at this point.”

“Does he hit her?” Billy asked.

“I don’t think so. Not that I’ve seen at least. He does get in fights in town a lot. A LOT. The cops come to our door more than they use to with you.” She smiled.

Their burgers came and Billy had another drink and so did Max. They thankfully changed the subject after that and talked about everything else. NYC. Max’s friends. Billy’s little apartment. Just dumb stuff. A cat they both saw walking across the street with a pigeon like they were friends. It was fun. They were actually having fun.

“I think this is the longest we have ever spoken… ever.” Billy smiled.

“I know.” Max beamed. Her cheeks were lightly flushed from the alcohol, her hair was cascading down her over shoulders, and she was now sitting comfortably in her very slimming black body suit top with her leather jacket over the chair behind her. She was having the time of her life. No Neil. No worries. She actually felt relaxed as the hours went by.

“So on and off with Sinclair huh?” Billy said. He looked at her again. She really was striking. She was probably the most beautiful person this dive bar had ever seen. Her red hair stood out, her youthful glow, her smile that he didn’t think he ever saw when they were growing up lit up the room.

“Yeah.” She smiled. “He’s great. Like SO nice.”

“But?”

“But” she laughed, “Maybe too nice? Is that awful to say?”

“No, I actually get that.”

“Like what a perfect first boyfriend. He’s just so sweet and he really loves me. I just think I want to get out of Hawkins and it seems like he wants to stay. Get a job, go to school nearby and just live there…. With me.” She looked down.

“Like he wants to get married and shit?”

“I don’t know!” she laughed and threw her hands up. “Sometimes he looks at me like I’m his everything. It’s so sweet, and I do love him, but not like… forever love… you know? Something’s missing or wrong with me I guess.”

“I doubt that, but okay. So, did you break up with him?”

“I think we are together right now.” She smiled.

“You think?” he smiled at her.

“Well, I break it off and then he just does the sweetest gestures and the… “ she hesitated, “The… sex is fun and all”

Billy spit out his drink.

“Maxine!” he laughed.

“What?” she smiled.

“I mean… I guess I didn’t think you were a virgin, but that was so cavalier.”

She smiled. “I’m not twelve anymore.”

“You certainly are not.” He smiled again looking at her deep green eyes and taking another sip of beer.

“So.. ah, what about you?” she asked

“Me?”

“Yeah, you have some cool New York City girlfriend?” she suddenly realized what she wanted the answer to be.

“Yeah.” He said.

Of course he did.

“She’s pretty amazing actually.”

Of course she is.

“She’s an actress…. Or trying to be. I bet she’ll make it, she’s just really talented and smart."

Probably gorgeous too.

"She’s helped me a lot. Get past stuff. Saved me I guess.”

“Oh.” Max said deflated. “That’s really good. I’m glad you’re not alone.” _Saved him?_

“Yeah, there’s a group of us. I found a good crew. I got lucky. It can get lonely here but I got lucky… for once.“ he smiled.

Maxine looked up again and smiled. She didn’t care. He was here with her now.

“Hey, are you still wearing my necklace?” he noticed.

“Yeah” she touched it again remembering how much she loved it. It was her nervous habit to play with it all the time.

“Maybe I should get that back. It’s kinda important. I don’t know why I gave that to you. It’s from my mom.”

“Oh no please Billy” she pleaded. “I.. I really.. I love it.” She said quietly.

He looked at her. “Okay, keep it. My gosh, when did you get so soft?”

“I’m not dickweed”

“Okay, that’s more like it.”

“Fuck you.” She smiled.

They finished up their drinks and food, Billy insisted on paying, and they walked outside. It was much later than she realized but the city had an energy to it that made it feel like the night was young. She felt so protected by Billy walking around the pavement streets passing by all the people and the cars.

“Oh, wow, there’s a lot of people out at night.” She said walking closer to Billy.

“You’ll be fine.” He said taking out a cigarette.

“But I don’t think you should take the subway now and a cab ride is going to be like at least $30 bucks with nighttime charges all the way uptown. I don’t know.” He said to himself.

“Maybe I should just crash at your place?” she suggested hopefully.

“I don’t know Max.” he felt suddenly weird about letting her stay there but it was probably the good big brother thing to do. Why did he feel like Neil was going to yell at him to step up and be responsible?

He looked at her while he finished his cigarette.  
“Okay, call your girlfriend and tell her you’re staying and you’ll get back first thing in the morning.”

She smiled and followed Billy into his building and up all the flights of stairs.

“You can take my room, I’ll sleep on the couch.” He said as he unlocked the many locks to his door and closed it behind him locking them all and the deadbolt again.

“Oh my goodness, you cannot fit on that couch!” Max laughed jumping over to it. “This is the smallest couch I’ve ever seen in my life – look my whole leg barely fits on it! I can’t even lie down!” she was feeling the alcohol and tried to fit her one leg and half her body across it as ungracefully as possible. It fit but she made it look like it was impossible.

He laughed at her. He leaned back up against the wall, crossed his arms, and stared at her as she stood up again pretending to fall off the couch again.

“I feel weird about us sharing a bed Max.” He said.

She looked down. Would it be weird, it’s not weird.

“I share beds with my friends all the time.”

“It feels inappropriate.”

She rolled her eyes at him. “I’ll curl up and be really really tiny. You won’t even know I’m there.” She then pretended to curl up into a little ball on the couch and made herself fall off on purpose again.

He chuckled. “You’re funny”

“You should see me with another few beers!” she laughed again getting up and sitting down on the couch again.

He was thinking for a second. He got them some more water.

“Okay, make your call. We can stay in my room. I’ll put like a barrier between us.”

“Honestly, I don’t think that’s necessary. We grew up together. It’s totally fine.”

“Max, I don’t mean to be extra weird, but you’re not a kid. You’re like really hot.”  
She blushed again.

“I’m sure you can control yourself.”

“I know I can.” He smiled, “but it’s still a little weird.”

“It’s fine. Seriously.” She grabbed her backpack and went into the bathroom and then turned around, “Can you like give me something to sleep in? Like boxers and a shirt or something?”

He rolled his eyes but acquiesced saying “Even weirder.”

He opened his bedroom door and she followed. Inside there was just a great big bed, a dresser, and a little side table with a lamp and an alarm clock flashing 12am. At least it felt cozy and shockingly clean. The duvet was blue and the sheets were grey. It was such a guy’s room. There were two posters of music groups and absolutely no pictures of anything else. There wasn’t even a blanket anywhere or a cute pillow or decoration of any kind. At least there weren’t half naked pictures of girls on the walls like his bedroom use to be at home before they turned his room into a guest room no one used.

“Here” he threw her some boxers and a Metallica t-shirt.

“Oh I love this shirt!” She exclaimed a little too excited. She didn’t mean to but she brought it up to her face and inhaled deeply.

“Max did you just smell my shirt?” he said looking at her. “This is totally weird.”

“No, it’s just, I just miss that smell! Oh, stop talking about it and making it weird, weirdo.” She smiled and walked into the bathroom.

After about ten minutes and a quick phone call to Shelby, Max came out and sat on the bed. Her hair was up, and the Metallica shirt was falling over her rather large chest. “I’ll take the right side?”

“Sure” he said and she got into the bed. Damn it. She looked really hot in his shirt. He needed to just go to sleep. He got up, pissed, took his one towel, rolled it up, put it between them like a barrier, then shut out the light and climbed into bed next to her wearing his boxers. What an odd night he thought.

They turned towards opposite walls facing away from each other.

“Hey” she whispered.

He didn’t answer.

“You asleep?” she whispered.

“No, I’m not asleep Max, we just got into bed like two minutes ago.” He said loudly.

“Right” she laughed, “um, just wanted to say thank you. I know I surprised you. But that was like the most exciting day and night I’ve ever had in my entire life.”

She could feel him smiling.

“You should get out more.” More silence. “Now, no more talking. Go to sleep.”

*****

The next day Max woke up in a full body cuddle with Billy. She didn’t want to move. He was completely asleep and she was wrapped around him as he lay on his back breathing easy. She didn’t remember shifting positions but this is how she usually slept with Lucas. It’s how she was most comfortable. She opened one eye. They were under the covers, the stupid towel barrier was on the floor, and Max was resting her head on Billy’s muscular arm that was wrapped around her.

Her hand was on his chest touching his bare warm skin. He was wearing just boxers. Her knees were bent into his and one was lightly resting over one of his legs. His other arm was behind his pillow like he was sunbathing. She stayed this way for long time. She could have stayed longer. She never felt safer. She found him. She found him! She couldn’t believe it. She did what she came to do. She came to apologize. And she did it.

But now, she didn’t want to leave.

Not thinking, she let out a sigh as she tried to figure it out in her mind. Billy stirred.

He cuddled her more tightly and snuggled his chin into the top of her head. She felt a feeling of excitement in her belly. She couldn’t believe she was so close to him. She tried to look up at him without moving too much. His eyes were closed and he seemed to be dreaming and he was about to lean down and…  
 _Was he going to kiss her? She thought. No. What was she doing? Maybe it’s okay?_

His hand left the pillow and was grabbing her outer arm pulling her closer to him, she leaned in ready, then he moved his hand onto her breast in a full grab and hesitated. He froze and his eyes opened suddenly.

“Maxine – what the hell!” he released her breast and pushed her off him. They were on opposite ends of the bed and stared at each other for a long minute not knowing what to do.

“Okay, you were right!” She laughed putting her head in her hands. “That was super weird.” She said trying to lighten the mood.

He laughed, like a real belly laugh. He took his pillow and threw it at her.

“Wow, I thought you were my girlfriend.” He continued to laugh. “I almost freaking kissed you.”

“I’m sorry!” she chuckled. “Yeah, I think I thought you were Sinclair?” she said  
covering up knowing full well she knew exactly what she was doing “What gave it away?”

“Ah, my girlfriend does not have a rack like that.” He said motioning to her chest.

“I’m sorry I grabbed your breast Max. My god, those things are huge.” He laughed.

She blushed. “Yeah, I got lucky.”

“I’ll say.” He smiled. “Okay, shows over, get up, let’s go.” They started getting ready to go, he made her coffee, and they chatted while she packed up.

She didn’t even have time to explain to Billy the other reason she was there. She then told him all about Columbia and the writing program. He was impressed and happy for her.

“Two questions. Are you really going to move here? And how are you going to afford Columbia and rent?”

“Um, yes.” She stated bravely, “and I have a partial scholarship, I figured if I get a job, maybe I could swing it.”

“Maybe.” He said. “Hey, that’s cool. Maybe we can see each other again.”

“Yeah? I’d really really like that.”

He smiled.

“Um, Billy?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you mind if I call my mom? I will be quick.”

“Max, you can call her. I don’t care. Go ahead. She’s probably worried about you.”

“Cool. I’m gonna take a shower. I almost kissed my sister and I feel a little weird.” He laughed, she blushed, and he walked into the bathroom shaking his head.

“STEP SISTER!” she said again loudly. She picked up the wall phone and dialed her mother who was probably worried sick sitting by the phone. Max wasn’t even sure she heard it ring.

“Max!” her mother said happily. “Oh Max, oh thank you for calling me.”

“Hey mom.” She said nonchalantly.

“Oh honey, how is it? How is New York City? Are you okay? Are you safe?”

“Oh yes, I’m fine. It’s really not a big deal. I found Shelby. It’s really not so hard once you figure out the subway.” Max heard herself saying.

“The subway? Don’t take the subway. Please use the cash I gave you.” She said.

“Okay.”

“Promise.”

“Okay, I promise I won’t take the subway alone!” she rolled her eyes.

“So…” her mother whispered. “Did you get my note?”

“Yes. Thank you. Seriously… Thank you mom.”

There was silence.

“Was it… helpful?” she whispered again.

“Mom. I found him.” She smiled. “He’s living on the lower east side area. I’m at his apartment now.”

Her mom breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh thank god! He’s alive.” She whispered.

“Did you think he wouldn’t be?”

“I didn’t know. I just had a feeling of worry is all. I’m so relieved. Is he okay?”

“Yes. He’s really good. His apartment is… small.” Max was going to complain more about it but realized she kinda loved this apartment suddenly.

“Oh Max. I might burst into tears. I wish… I wish.”

“It’s okay Mom, I told him sorry too.”

There was silence.

“Hey, do you think you’ll see him again after this? Or is this it?”

Max didn’t know. She hoped so.

“I don’t know.”

Her mom thought for a second on the other line.

“There’s something important I wanted to tell you. Neil and I wanted to tell you, but I was going to wait until you got back. But… if you’re seeing Billy, he should know too.”

“What is it?” Max asked nervously.

“So… Neil is very sick. Maybe you could tell? I don’t know, you’re not here so much. It’s been awhile now, but I kept it all from you. I wasn’t sure what to do to be honest. But, I think Billy should know.”

Max was silent. Was she sad. Not really. Should she be?

“I don’t think he’ll care.” Max decided.

“Maybe, but he should get the chance to say goodbye if he wants.”

“Okay, I guess I’ll tell him”

“I can’t wait to see you.” Her mom said and they hung up the phone.

*****

Billy got out of the shower. He had a towel wrapped around him and was looking at her. Damn, he was gorgeous.

“How’s your mom?” He asked not really caring.

“Um… okay” Max said. “She told me something about your dad. Do you want to  
know?”

“No” Billy said. “I don’t care at all.”

“What if he was dying?”

“Seriously Max, he’s already dead to me, do not test me! Do not continue saying what you are about to say. I do not care. Got it?” His voice was loud and he slammed his hand into the wall, hard.

She jumped. “That’s what I thought” she whispered.

“What did you say?” He felt the old mean Billy for a second as he looked at her. He wanted to hit something.

“Ah nothing.” She whispered.

“That’s what I thought. Now get dressed and get your shit.” He said again and slammed his bedroom door.

Fuck she thought. That was stupid. She showered quickly and got dressed in her clothes from the night before. She kept the Metallica t-shirt on since her body suit top smelled like cigarette smoke.

She slowly walked out of the bathroom and sat on the couch. She was ready to go. He was clearly ready for her to go. Okay, that was dumb. Damn it why did she bring up stupid Neil again!

His door opened, he was dressed, looking so cute, and he sat down on the coffee table across from her.

“Hey” he said.

“Hey” she replied.

“Sorry I snapped at you.”

“Billy it’s –“

“No, it’s not okay. I’m a completely different person now. And it’s not okay for someone to yell at you either. But reminding me of my horrible past is going to bring up old memories and take me back to a place I am trying to forget. Do you get it?”

“Yes.” She whispered looking down.

“I do not care about anyone in Hawkins. Anyone at all. Is that clear?”

“Yes” she replied then she whispered sadly “no one?”

“Well, I mean, I care about you… now I guess.” He smiled as he lifted her chin up with his hand. “I care about you Max. More than I thought I did. You’re kinda cool.”

“I think about you all the time.” She whispered.

He looked at her staring at him. “Guilt will do that to you.” He responded.

“It’s more than guilt.” She managed to say. “Do you miss me at all?”

“Honestly, no Max. I barely know you.”

She was not going to cry but she could feel the sadness take over her.

“It’s not your fault. Our parents suck. We were a toxic family and we were never really able to be true brother and sister.” he said.

“What about now?” she asked.

“I don’t know Max. You show up here with all these… feelings and past stuff… I don’t know. I don’t know what you want here?”

“I want to be in your life! I want someone who can relate to me, who gets what it was like to grow up in such shit like we did. Who didn’t experience a normal childhood! I feel so alone, don’t you feel like that?”

Billy ran his hands through his hair holding his hair back. “Sometimes.”

“So, what… you want me to like call you and shit?” He asked.

“I don’t know. I guess so. I feel like you won’t though.”

“I’m not a big phone person.”

“Maybe we could write?”

“I’m not a big writer. You’re the writer.”

“I could write you?”

“Sure.” He smiled.

“I know where you live!” she said in a creepy voice. “I can find you!” she said again.

“You’re hysterical.” He rolled his eyes.

“Maybe we could visit?” she ventured.

“Are you asking me to go to Hawkins? No fucking way. Never.”

“No, I know. I meant here. “ but she meant Hawkins.

He smiled at her. “Geez, this has been one strange visit Maxine. I still can’t believe you found me.”

“It’s Max, and I can’t believe what a good guy you are.”

“I’m not such a good guy…Max.”

“You’re a good guy. I always thought so. Deep down.”

He smiled at her. “Okay, let’s go.”

“Wait, will you write down your phone number?’ she asked.

“Sure.” He got up, grabbed a piece of paper, and sat down on the couch next to her. Her wrote down his number, turned her around, unzipped the little back pocket of her backpack, and stuck the number inside.

“Now don’t call me everyday or anything stalker. I’m not here that much.” He decided.

She turned back around and fell into him in a half lean/half hug.

“Okay, okay” he said.

She punched him in the shoulder. “And I don’t have all these feelings, asshole” she said.

“Okay, there’s the Max I know.”

They left the apartment and Billy put her in a cab and said goodbye. She waited until she closed the car door and then her eyes welled up in tears but there was a happiness in her heart she hadn’t felt in awhile. She looked out the window of the cab and watched him take out a cigarette and light it as he watched her cab drive away.

Why was she so emotional? Because it wasn’t just about finding Billy. It was about so much more than that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all like chapter 2! It gets more crazy next chapter and hopefully worth the wait to see what happens with them. Think you can guess. :) Thank you so much for reading!!


	3. You Could Be Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy is forced to return to Hawkins and Max couldn't be more thrilled...

**SIX MONTHS LATER**

It was the beginning of the Christmas season and Max and her mother were alone in the house. Neil was gone. His funeral was uneventful. Just like he did to his son, Max decided to not talk about him anymore. Her mother had sad moments but she had been preparing for a while so she seemed ready to move on.

Who knows what went on inside her mother’s head. She definitely had been acting differently towards Max. They were actually getting along and had been closer ever since Max returned from New York. Susan seemed to stand taller and actually looked prettier to Max.

They decided not to put up a tree for their holidays this year since they were probably moving soon and Susan didn’t feel right celebrating. They also had to deal with their finances which Susan was now handling.

“I think you need to contact Billy” her mom said.

“I can’t Mom. He really _really_ doesn’t care about it – at all.”

Susan continued. “The house is in his name for some strange reason I doubt Neil realized or maybe that’s his odd way of saying sorry –“ _Mom, really? Stop defending him._

“-unlikely” Max mumbled rolling her eyes.

“Let’s not get into it Max.” she reprimanded, “but it’s all Billy’s. And he deserves it. He needs to come here, sell it, and take the money. I don’t think he can do that from New York.”

“Did you get anything mom?”

“Oh don’t worry. It’s just the house. Everything else is mine, we actually saved a bit since Neil never bought anything. AND now I can get a job! Maybe I can teach again? I’m looking forward it.” She seemed to feel guilty as she said it. “You know, it’s just nice to be able to plan a bit.” Her mom said sitting back on the couch looking very relaxed.

“Is there enough for college for me?”

“With your scholarship, I think I can contribute. And maybe you can get a part-time job somewhere like at the campus bookstore?”

Max liked that idea.

“Honey, I want to make it work if that is what you want.” Her mom said proudly. “But, you need to call your brother.”

Shit. She had to call him. She kind of wanted to have a reason to call him.

She had sent him two letters so far. He didn’t reply not that she expected him too, but she knew he got them. She pictured him reading them in his cozy apartment on his tiny couch.

“Okay, I’ll call him.”

Max tried for a few days… maybe alittle too obsessively with no luck and of course he had no machine. Finally, he picked up.

“Yup?” he said answering.

“Oh hey….you picked up… ah, it’s me.”

He didn’t answer immediately so she said quickly “Its me Max, you’re step-”

“Max, I know it’s you. What’s up?”

“Did you get my letters?”

“Yes” he smiled through the phone. “You’re a great writer. They were really funny.”

“I’m funny!” she smiled twirling her fingers in the phone cord.

“So, are you okay?”

“Um,” her heart was beating so fast. _Okay calm down_ , “ah, I know you don’t want to know anything or details or anything, so I won’t go into it, but there’s this one thing my mom thinks you might want to have now that… now that it’s just my mom and I here?” _That was subtle but clear right?_

He paused. “I don’t want anything Max” he said annoyed.

“Well, you might dickhead, so listen. It seems the house is in your name? And you need to come here to claim it or some fucked up shit.”

“Nice language and I don’t want it.”

“But Billy, you don’t get it, you can get the entire house and you can sell it and you can have all the money.”

“I Do Not Want It” he said slowly and clearly.

“Billy, it’s like 200K… or something.” She whispered.

He was silent for a while.

“Hello?”

“I’ll think about it.” He finally replied.

“Okay.”

Silence.

“Hey, you good?” he asked.

“Do you care?” she replied annoyed.

“I don’t know. I think I do.”

“Okay, well then, I’m fine.”

Silence.

“You off or on again with Sinclair this week.”

She smirked, “Off. I think it’s for good this time. We’re better as friends. I think he’s one of my best friends.”

“We’ll see.”

“What about you and your girlfriend?”

“Stephanie?”

_Stephanie._

“Yeah, we’re good. She’s actually moving to LA. She got a part in some vampire movie.”

“Oh wow! That’s like so cool!”

“Yeah. It is. I think I’ll move with her.” He didn’t mean to reveal what he’d been thinking about the past couple weeks.

Max’s heart sank. Los Angeles? No, no no. That’s not part of the plan.

“Oh, no, Billy, don’t leave New York City.”

“Max, what does it really matter?”

“I don’t know.” She mumbled. “I just loved New York and felt like you did too.”

Silence. She was right. He did love the city. He didn’t think LA was for him. He had too many memories in California anyway.

“So what do you think… about the house?” she asked again.

“Ugh, fine. I really can’t pass up that much money. I truly can’t think of anything worse than coming back to Hawkins.”

“It’s pretty much the same… but I’ll be here.”

She thought he might be smiling. ”Okay Max” then he added sternly, “Hey, do not tell _anyone_ I’m coming. For real, got it?”

“Okay. I won’t. Just the real estate agent.”

“Fine.”

“When? I think this needs to get done soon.”

He exhaled, “Ugh…I’m off this weekend.”

Max knew it was sneaky but she couldn’t tell him the real estate agent was Steve Harrington who Billy probably still despised.

But they were older now Max rationalized. Billy would get over it. Steve was a great person if he’d give him a chance. He started his own real estate business, married one of the most beautiful girls in town whose daddy had more money than his, and set up shop. He was really successful and actually always super nice to Max. She liked Steve. She always had. He looked out for her unlike other people she knew that should have been and never did.

Max hung up the phone and smiled at her mom ”He’s coming home."

*******

Steve started showing Max and her mom small townhouses for rent in the area that were manageable with more of a community feel and less maintenance. They picked one that was affordable. Nothing fancy but that was fine with them.

Back at the house, they were slowly packing up their belongings in boxes when Max heard a cab pull up that Saturday afternoon. It had snowed earlier that day so outside was still white and pretty and hadn’t turned a muddy grey from the snowplows clearing up the roads.

Max bolted outside not caring how cold it was in her fitted black long sleeve shirt, jeans, and black faux fur lined boots.

“Billy!” she said and ran down the steps to greet him.

He continued to smoke his cigarette.

“Hey kid.” He said getting out of the cab.

“Mom, Billy’s here!” she yelled back to the house without taking her eyes of him.

“Wow Max, keep it down.”

“I’m sorry, I’m excited.”

“Well calm down.”

She couldn’t. She ran over to greet him and stood in front of him.

He took another drag of his cigarette. She looked adorable. Her red hair standing out against her dark outfit and the white snow.

“Come here.” He said.

She leaned in and gave him a quick hug. She was beaming.

“God, I hate this place.” He said stamping out his cigarette looking irritated. “It looks exactly like I remembered. An utter shithole. I can’t believe anyone wants this piece of shit house.”

“I know” Max said.

Billy sighed.

She changed the subject.

“You know I turned 18.”

“Uh, happy birthday? Sorry I didn’t remember.”

“Oh, it’s fine. It was a couple months ago, I-“ she started to say.

“Hi Billy” Susan said holding open the front door to greet him as he walked up the steps with Max close by.

“Hey.” He said.

“I’m, ah, I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say.” She laughed nervously.

“It’s cool. Nice to see you.” He tried to smile.

“So nice to see you.” She seemed relieved. “Come on in. It’s freezing out.”

Billy put down his bag and took off his winter jacket. They walked around as Susan pointed things out asking if he wanted something from his past. She told him to look in his room. There were boxes in there if he wanted anything. He said nope. Nothing. But went to check anyway.

“Where’s the agent?” he asked.

Susan looked at him, “Oh… ah, he should be here any minute actually.”

“Okay.” Billy walked to his old room and Max followed. He was standing inside just like he did when they were younger. She was leaning against the door soaking in the moment.

“Weird to be back?”

“Yup. Weird.” He said looking out the window. It was starting to snow again.

“You okay?”

“Super.” He said sarcastically, “You know, just suppressing bad memories.”

“Anything good?” she hoped.

He was silent.

“At all?” she asked her eyes hopeful.

He turned around and looked at her. “No.” She looked so sad. “Ugh fine Max, I like the white lights on all the oak trees in the center of town at Christmas, always have, that’s about it.” He reluctantly admitted and then turned to her, “Happy now?”

“Yes.” She smiled. “I remember you even got me a present this one Christmas.”

“I don’t remember that.”

“It was like this little stuffed animal dog or something with a tiny bandana on it. You didn’t wrap it. You just gave it to me.”

“I think I stole that from some girl’s house.” He smiled.

“Of course.” She laughed. “See… some good memories.”

He was silent.

“Want to smoke up?” She asked.

“Ah yes.” He smiled.

She had a small joint in her jean pocket and he grabbed his lighter. They both took a couple hits.

“This is shit.” Billy laughed.

“I know. It’s not very good.” She coughed back.

They were silent for a while enjoying the moment.

“Billy! Max!” They heard Susan say as a car pulled up.

“Be there in a sec!” Max yelled back.

Max opened a window smiling at Billy as he wondered over to his old vanity.

The room looked almost the same but cleaner and more sparse. His pictures and posters of half naked girls were gone. His bed had a new comforter. Billy looked at his old vanity mirror. There were some pictures on it.

“Did you put these here?” he asked.

There were pictures of him, his old friends, high school memories, his lifeguard picture, there was one of the two of them at the pool, just Max and Billy, that he didn’t remember taking. It must have been right before he left. They weren’t smiling. They were in their bathing suits and towels after a day at the pool. They seemed annoyed to have to even be near each other let alone that they were forced to pose for a picture. It was one of Max’s favorite shots.

“Yeah.” She said. “I thought in case you came back, maybe you’d like to remember all the fun times you apparently never had.”

“Nice. Dumb… but nice.” He pocketed the picture of the two of them. “I’ll take this.” He smiled at her.

Max was delighted.

They heard a knock at the front door.

“Kids, Steve is here!” Susan yelled again.

“The agent’s name is Steve?” Billy asked.

“Um actually, please… please don’t be mad…but I knew you wouldn’t come, but our agent is, ah, Steve Harrington?” she revealed slowly.

“Fucking fuck Max, really??” he turned and punched the glass in the vanity. It cracked a little but didn’t shatter.

“Billy!” Max screamed.

Susan was out front with Steve and didn’t hear it.

“Ugh you know I hate that guy!” Billy replied shaking out his hand. “What the fuck? I knew this was a stupid idea. I’m out of here. So stupid!”

“Billy, please, I promise, it’s so different now. He’s really a nice person.”

“You ALWAYS defended him.”

“I know.”

“I’m suddenly remembering why we never got along and why you’re such a shit and this whole town sucks.” He started towards the door to leave.

“Billy wait.” Max ran over before he could exit partially blocking him from leaving. He looked down at her. She was so close to him.

“Don’t go.” She said quietly. She slowly looked up at him and touched one of his arms. He let her. She started moving her hand up his arm gently, sweetly. He knew what she was doing. He did it all the time to girls to get them to do something for him. It was too easy.

His eyes narrowed as he watched her suspiciously. He watched her trying to manipulate him.

“What the hell are you doing?” he said quietly.

“Nothing?” she said innocently.

“Doesn’t feel like nothing.” He whispered.

“I’m just trying to get you to do what I want.” She smiled. “Be nice. Sell the house. Get the money.”

She took her other hand and grabbed his other arm so she was facing him and her body was inches away from his.

“Max.” he said warning her feeling like the room was suddenly warm. He looked down at her perfectly smooth skin, piercing green eyes, and her soft mouth.

“Billy.” She whispered again slowly looking up into his eyes. “Come on. This is easy.”

He stared at her. _Was she going to kiss him? No. Ridiculous. Weird._

“Fine.” He acquiesced and watched her lips turn into a sweet triumphant smile.

“Thank you.” She smiled taking her hands off him.

“What the hell Max” he slightly smiled pushing his hands through his hair. He was confused and a little impressed.

“What?” she said innocently and walked passed him. She knew he was watching her walk away. She turned around, “Don’t be such a pussy” she said to him turning around quickly to watch him gawk at her.

He smirked. _What the fuck?_

He walked outside much calmer than before until he saw the agent walking inside making pleasantries with Susan.

There was fucking Steve Fucking Harrington. He traded in his 3 series BMW from high school for a 7 series. Of course. Fucking asshole. He looked the same with his dumb floppy hair and suit and tie. This wasn’t really a suit type of town. Okay, time to be cool.

“Billy Hargrove!” Steve exclaimed. “I can’t believe you are really here!” he practically jumped over himself to give Billy a handshake and aggressively pat him on the back. “Glad you got in before the snow storm! This is so great.”

“Yup. Harrington. You seem… the same.” Billy said taking out a cigarette.

“Billy – could you sit by the window if you’re going to smoke.” Susan said. He sighed and went near the window and opened it slightly.

“Are you still smoking man? That stuff is terrible for you.”

Billy rolled his eyes and blew out a puff of smoke into the air towards the window.

“Man Billy, we use to get into it back in high school. It was such good times.”

Billy smirked, “Was it?”

“Oh the parties, basketball, well, you weren’t a huge fan of mine, but it was high school. The memories were good. It’s really great you’re here.”

Billy looked at Max who was egging him on to be nice saying “see” under her breath.

“Yeah, ah, sure.” Billy replied.

“I’ve tried to keep an eye on Max for you. But she’s a tough girl.”

“I’m sure she can handle herself.” Billy said blowing smoke out the window while looking at Max. She was leaning against the counter staring back.

“So what do I have to do to unload this piece of shit house?”

“Leave it to me. I just need you to sign a bunch of papers. I have them here and then I’ll take care of it. I already have a buyer.”

“Really?” Billy said unconvinced.

“Yeah. They want to turn this whole area into a retirement community.”

“Who the fuck would want to retire in this shithole?”

“You’d be surprised.”

“Whatever. Fine.”

Billy put out his cigarette and they sat down in the living room going through the paperwork and how to transfer money into an account for Billy. Susan pretended to clean up in the kitchen. Max watched from the counter while Steve talked Billy through it all. Steve said he could actually get a little more than 200K and after his fee, Billy was going to get a nice check. Billy signed everything and that was it.

“That’s it?” Billy said. “You know you could have mailed me all this.”

“This is time sensitive Billy” Steve said. “The investor wants to get going in the next couple weeks before the holidays. You all have the house until next Saturday and then it’s in the new owner’s names.”

“It’s fine.” Billy said. “I’m going back to the city right now.”

“Doubt it. With this snow storm, I’m sure flights are cancelled. But it should be clear by morning.” Steve commented looking outside as the snow fell.

“Fuck.” Billy said under his breath. Max was thrilled.

********

Steve left and Billy looked at Susan and Max.

“Should we order a pizza?” Susan said trying to be nice seeing Billy was going to be staying there.

“Sure.” Billy exhaled realizing he was trapped until the next day.

A few minutes later, Susan called and put in an order. After she hung up she looked at Max and Billy sitting on the couch almost like old times. “Hey you two, they can’t do delivery tonight. Do you both mind going to pick it up?”

Billy rolled his eyes. He did mind and he was missing his old car. He did not want to go into town at all.

“Sure.” Max replied quickly.

“Fine, but I’m driving” Billy said.

They got into Susan’s car and started driving down the road as fast as Billy always drove when they were younger despite the slippery conditions.

“I’m suddenly remembering how scared I was driving with you in high school.”

“I miss that car” Billy said turning up the radio.

They drove in silence for a while listening to a local hard rock station.

“It’s not so bad being here right?” she asked slowly.

“It’s fine. You can stop checking in.”

“Got it.” She said hurt.

“Hey,” he recovered looking over at her. “I did like driving my car. I liked being a lifeguard. I liked all the girls I banged. I liked - hey, how is Mrs. Wheeler?”

“Oh my god, Why?? Did you like her?”

“Yeah, we use to make out.” He laughed.

“What? That is SO SO… SO gross.” Max laughed. “Mike’s mom? I can’t believe I know that.”

“Yup. A couple times. Didn’t you wonder why I came into her house to pick you up and at everyone else’s I sat in the car honking?”

Max thought for a second, “Man, I was dense back then.”

“Well, she never let me do anything. It was stupid but hot.” He smiled. “How is she? Still married?”

“Yes! They are still married. They seem really good. Mike would be shocked.”

“Well, don’t fucking tell him. I don’t want any drama from that family.”

“Nancy’s doing really well. She’s – “

“Honestly Max, I don’t care about her.”

“Okay… sure.” Max smiled and then teased “…. So just their mother…Mrs. Wheeler. Got it!”

He punched her in the arm playfully.

They pulled into the parking lot as the snow really came down. They walked into the pizza place happy to be warm again. The place had a take out counter up front and cozy booths and tables all throughout the little restaurant. Despite the weather, it had a bustling Saturday night crowd.

“My god.” Billy said, “Another shithole place that is exactly as I remember."

“Oh come on, it’s not so bad and the pizza really is good.”

“OH MY GOD! BILLY!” someone yelled.

“FUCK.” He said loudly to Max making a face that was more annoyance than anger. Max mouthed sorry and went to grab the pizza.

“Billy fucking Hargrove!” it was the entire gang. What the hell? Did they do anything with their lives? Tina, Carol, Tommy, Tammy, and some other guy he couldn’t remember. They were drinking the crappy house red wine and beer and enjoying their food. He reluctantly walked over.

“Well, well. Have you guys moved since high school? This is exactly where I left you.”

“Ohh! It’s so good to see you!” Tina jumped up and hugged him.

“Yeah, we’re all still here. We miss you Billy Boy.” Tommy laughed getting up to pat his back and sit back down.

“Are you like really living in like New York City?” Carol asked seated further back in the circle next to Tommy.

“Yup”

“Is it like so amazing?”

“Yup.”

“Do you see famous people all the time?”

Carol was using her left hand a lot gestating wildly.

Max walked up and stood next to Billy with the pizza taking in the scene.

“Hey Max” Tommy smiled and winked.

Gross. Billy immediately felt his eyes all over her. He’s the worst.

“Is that a ring?” Max said as Carol continued to talk with her left hand.

“Oh this? YES! We’re engaged!!!” She hugged Tommy.

“To this mother fucker?” Billy laughed.

“YES!” she exclaimed.

“Yup, exactly as I left ya all, Well, congratulations. It was really… really seeing the whole gang. I’ve gotta get back to my step mom and Max here and this delicious Hawkins pizza I’ve missed so much.” He protectively put his arm around Max and deliberately said really really. Max beamed feeling in on the joke because clearly only she understood him.

“Aw Billy, come out with us! We’re going to the old town bar down on Cornwallis. It’s way more fun now that we are over 21.”

“Rain check.” He lied.

“You’re barely legal right Max?” Tommy said lasciviously.

“Gross” Max said to him. “Like you’re actually gross. Your fiancé is right next you.”

“Oh, he’s just kidding!” Carol laughed taking another sip of her beer.

“I do not want to see how your kids end up.” Billy smiled charmingly.

“Kids! AH! You’re hysterical Billy!” Carol said and they all laughed.

“Well…” Billy said seeing Max take care of herself with this crowd. “Congrats again. See ya all later.”

“Bye Billy!” They called. He did a funny salute and turned around. Max followed with the pizza and they got back in the car.

He was smiling.

“What’s so funny?” Max asked.

“That. And almost everything I was dreading has come to pass.”

“AND?” Max smiled.

“And… And I’m surviving.”

“Maybe it’s good closure.”

“You sound just like my girlfriend.”

Max sighed. _Right…girlfriend._

They were about to pull out of the parking lot when someone standing in the snow tapped on Billy’s driver side window. He rolled it down. Tina stood there shivering with no jacket.

“Hey, Billy, I know you’re not in town a long time or maybe even when you get back to New York City, if you ever want to give me a call, here’s my number.” She gave him a piece of paper.

“Sure thing. Good to see you Tina.” She smiled and he rolled up the window awkwardly as she stood there.

“Oh my god.” Max said as he slowly drove away. “That was so painful!”

“Ah she’s sweet” Billy said.

“But the window, it was so slow, and she just-wow-.” Max said chuckling.

“Hey don’t laugh, that takes a lot of balls to do that. You ever give your number to someone?”

“No.” Max said quietly.

“She’s always been in love with me.”

Max was quiet. And jealous she realized.

“Did you love her back?” Max asked.

“Oh god no. But she was really good in bed.”

“UGH!” Max hit his arm again. “Let’s go home.” She smiled. She was thrilled Billy was by her side. Driving her mom’s car. No Neil at home. Just the three of them.

*******

They all enjoyed some pizza in the living room and a couple bottles of wine that Susan had been saving. Susan let Max have a small amount. They talked about the present, Billy’s life in the city, Max’s writing, and made no mention of old times or Neil. Max was in full entertainment look-at-me mode trying to be funny and make Billy laugh. Susan told them of her plans and Billy saw her in a different light. He still didn’t trust her, but he didn’t feel as angry. He sort of got why his dad was into her but would never understand what she saw in his dad.

“Billy” she said looking serious after a few glasses of wine.

“Oh no” he said “please don’t cry about something.”

“Billy doesn’t like feelings mom” Max laughed.

“Oh, well, I just want you to know something Billy” Susan began. “I know it’s too late to say sorry. I know I messed up but I truly truly am so sorry for not… for not doing more. I’m so sorry you had a bad time here.” And she did break down into tears. “I should have done more. I could have been a better step-mom. I was a coward.”

“Please stop. I didn’t come back for this.” He got up starting to clean up just to escape the moment. “You were surviving. It’s fine. You are completely forgiven for whatever guilt you think you have. I’m fine with it.”

She stopped crying and looked at him as he came back and sat down again. Max was sharing the old brown couch with her mom, and Billy had the big even older armchair. They were in a triangle set up with the pizza and wine on the coffee table. Why didn’t they do this before? Oh, right, no way Neil would allow pizza in the living room or Max to have even a sip of alcohol.

“Okay, I hear you. I do. Just know this.” Susan continued. “I know you don’t have any biological parents in the picture. But I’m here. I’m here if you ever need anything. I really do care about you even if I was too chicken shit to show it back then.”

Billy smiled. Well, at least she was trying. He wasn’t ready to say anything because he didn’t forgive her… not yet. He was just exhausted and wanted to go to bed.

“Got it.” He fake smiled.

Max’s cheeks were flushed again.

“Maxy – I think you’ve had enough wine.” Her mother suddenly said looking at her daughter smiling happily at the end of the couch.

“Yup!” Max jumped up yawning, “Time for bed.”

“Billy, you’re room is just as you left it pretty much. I hope you’ll have a good night’s sleep.”

“Thanks… Susan.” He managed to say. “Night Max.” he punched Max in the arm gently. _That’s it, a punch? She thought._

He walked down the hall, got ready for bed in his old crummy bathroom he used to spend hours in, and then closed the door to his old bedroom. It was strange being back there. He felt so much older and wiser and wondered why he put up with the abuse for so long. He took off his shirt and pants and got into his old bed with just his boxers on. He looked up at a crack on the ceiling. He used to stare at that dumb crack on the ceiling for hours after Neil hit him. Was it bigger now or smaller? He use to think if he can just stare at that crack long enough he could get back control.

After about a half hour of staring, he heard a quiet tap on his door and looked away from the ceiling bringing himself back to the present.

“What?” he said loudly.

Max opened the door and closed it quietly behind her.

“Shhhh” she said with her finger over her mouth. “Don’t want to wake Susan”.

“You lost?” he smirked.

She smiled. “I know you are going to hightail it out of here tomorrow. But I wanted to give you your necklace back.” She put it down on the night table near his bed.

“You can keep it. Really.”

She stood back in the doorway for a second hesitating.

“Can I come in?” she asked. She didn’t want this night to end so early. Who knew when she should see him again?

“Fine.” He scooted over and watched as she sat down. She was just wearing an old soft t-shirt and underwear he realized. “For a second.”

He was under the comforter and she got under too. It was a cold winter night and she rested her head on one of the pillows turning to look up and face him.

“You okay?” he asked cautiously watching her while leaning on his elbows.

She nodded. “Are you still moving to California?”

He sighed “Probably not” And leaned back relaxing more, resting his head in his hands.

_YES!_

She lay there for a while smiling feeling sleepy. “Can I sleep in here?” she eventually asked starting to close her eyes.

“I don’t know Max.”

“Remember… It’s not weird.” She whispered too loudly.

“Didn’t it get weird?” he said smiling remembering their night in the city again as she slowly found her way closer to him trying to lean into him under the covers.

“Okay…I guess I’ll go.” She said looking up at him not moving. Damn it. She was pretty. Her hair casually fanned out over the pillow. He didn’t want to be alone in this room.

He looked at her staring at him. “Fine. You can stay.”

“I don’t want to be alone.” Max said.

He nodded.

“Can’t you stay in Hawkins a bit longer?” she eventually asked.

“I can’t.” he unconsciously slid down next to her as she cuddled into the bed more. She moved near him touching his body by proximity. They lay like that for a few minutes. It was nice.

“You’re the only one that gets me, Billy.” She whispered snuggling in and closing her eyes. She just wanted to be close to him.

He could feel himself getting turned on as she said his name. The bad pot and too many glasses of wine were still dancing in his system. He closed his eyes and realized he missed her face, so he opened them. Fuck. She looked so sweet, smelled so good… He had an urge to do something affectionate and protective, like hold her hand or something stupid, but held back.

Her hand cautiously touched his forearm as she slowly squeezed her fingers around his warm skin.

“Max.” he said in a warning tone but did nothing to stop her.

She didn’t answer but she didn’t pull back.

“I don’t want to confuse things” he murmured then contradicted himself by touching her hair and brushing it out of her face tucking it behind her ear. He ran his fingers through it to the end twisting one thick red strand around his fingers slowly. “My god, you’re beautiful.”

She had to close her eyes, savoring the moment, as his words and slightest touch electrified her, frightened her, and excited her.

“It’s okay” she whispered gently stroking his arm.

“We can’t.” He uttered more to himself.

She breathed in feeling intoxicated by him and murmured “Please.”.

He could feel his defenses lowering as she sweetly begged. She looked so pretty, lying there, needing him. No one _really_ needed him.

“Please what?” He whispered moving his hand back onto her arm more roughly than he meant. She looked up at him with half-opened eyes.

“Please Billy… kiss me.” She was surprised she said it. He was like a drug to her. She felt like he was the answer to everything. Only he could understand her, fix her.

His hands roughly grabbed her face and his mouth crashed into hers hard. She responded immediately moaning as he slid his tongue into her mouth in a deep kiss completely consuming her.

Their tongues brushed together urgently sucking, learning each other. It was messy and hot and she felt his kiss all the way deep in her spine. Her hands grasped firmly onto his bare muscular chest, digging her nails into him, and her small frame was completely secured in his arms, enveloped in his scent, lost in the moment.

He pulled her leg up forcefully against him pressing his strong fingers into her thigh making her moan louder. She could feel him getting hard through his boxers as she tried to rub against his body to create some kind of friction for herself.

There was no space between them. She finally gasped coming up for a breath spinning from their embrace, dizzy, elated.

“Like that?” he whispered.

“Yes.” She murmured breathlessly. _Holy shit that was hot._

“Is this what you want?” he breathed in her ear. _Holy shit that was really hot._

“Billy.” She closed her eyes dreamily waiting for more.

“Answer” he roughly grabbed her face making her open her eyes to look at him.

“Yes. I… It’s always been you.”

He twisted his hand into her tangled hair forcing her head back roughly and her breath caught in her throat. He planted heated kisses on her face and down her neck, sucking and teasing her, and then moved back up to her pouting mouth kissing her deeply. He pulled her tightly against him.

She was grabbing him, frantically, on his chest, his arm, his shoulder, his thick curls behind his head, she couldn’t stop touching him.

He swiftly took control, grabbed both her wrists shifting her onto her back and put her hands over her head holding them down with one hand hard. “Don’t move.” He commanded.

She drew in her breath loudly at his words and arched her back bending her knees up as he held onto her wrists tightly. _Yes, tell me what to do_ she thought closing her eyes. His every touch sent chills and shivers all over her.

“You like it when I tell you what to do?” he said in a low voice.

“Yes.” She whispered desperately.

“I knew you would.”

His free hand moved down the side of her fit body to her chest and started to grab and squeeze her breast, rubbing firmly, feeling her hard nipple though her thin shirt while kissing her, tongue deep in her mouth.

She felt goose bumps and an intense sensation creeping up inside aching to explode. She wanted to touch herself but couldn’t move so she started to rub her legs together to get some release. He watched her struggle and smirked.

He freed her wrists and she placed her hands on his biceps to steady herself as he effortlessly changed positions moving himself on top of her. Her legs opened welcoming him as he crushed down over her and she gasped finally feeling some pressure against her. He held himself up slightly making sure not to hurt her.

“Wrap your legs around me.” He ordered her.

She did as she was told.

“Try to keep that pretty mouth quiet.” He whispered while grabbing her jaw. Her stomach flipped. She wrapped her arms around his strong back, hugging tightly into him.

He looked longingly at her swollen lips and kissed her deeply again, the pleasure overtaking them.

He let out a low groan as he started grinding above her, slowly at first then faster, creating the friction she needed against her. Her heart raced and she shifted her hips up trying to meet his movements.

She could sense herself losing control completely and her body starting to build to a climax every time he moved against her making her whimper loudly.

“I said keep quiet. You’re being very bad.” He whispered into her ear.

She thought she might come right then and there from his deep voice and they weren’t even doing much.

He kissed her neck, biting gently, and continued to move intensely, skillfully, desperately against her body and hips, one hand on her thigh grabbing roughly. She was arching her hips up against him and screamed out “Billy!” loudly.

He pulled back and saw her eyes closed, her mouth half opened, her shallow breaths, a concentrated deep look on her face. Hearing his name like that, from her, broke the spell.

 _Wait._ He felt his mind suddenly clear. What was he doing? He started slowing up the pace and moved back to his side taking his weight off her. He let out a deep exhale. _Shit. He couldn’t do this. Not like this._

“Max” he eventually whispered and nuzzled into her soft hair. She felt his warm breath in her ear and didn’t want the intense mind-numbing feeling building in her to end yet. She had never felt anything this extreme before.

“No, don’t stop” she said desperately grabbing onto him.

“We can’t do this.” He whispered again as he continued to touch her body with one hand.

“Please” she said again.

“Fuck Max” he continued to play with her breasts above her clothes and then moved down her body to her stomach where her shirt had lifted up a little and touched her soft skin.

He grabbed her hips and pulled her closer to his body while trying to slow it all down, “You’re so beautiful. That was so hot. I can’t believe how hot you are.”

She moved her hand down onto his broad chest as it rose and fell fast, and gently placed her hand outside his boxers daring herself to continue. She wrapped her hands around his hardness tightly, just the material between them. He let out a low groan and then suddenly grabbed her wrist pushing her away.

“We have to stop.” He said clearly struggling and shoved himself back and started to sit up. She retreated quickly and looked at him, “I’m sorry!” she put her face in her hands sitting up.

 _Fuck._ “No it’s not you. Shit Max…” he looked over at her, a beautiful mess, huddled into herself. _Fuck._ He protectively pulled her back across the bed into him hugging her tightly. He squeezed her as she buried her face into his neck lying down again with her. He didn’t want to let her go. “Don’t fucking apologize. Do you know how much I don’t want to stop right now?”

“Who cares then – I” she started to say trying to look up at him.

“Max, it’s not a good idea… it’s not even that you’re my step-sister.” His voice husky, breath quick, as he willed himself to calm down.

“What is it then?” she whispered nuzzling into him.

He looked at her. He took a deep breath.

“Max,” he said after a second, ”You’re amazing. Like…so fucking amazing. This isn’t a good idea. For one, I have a girlfriend. I’m not an asshole guy that cheats on his girlfriend and with his step sister no less. What a dick move.” He said talking himself out of it. Suddenly very sober.

She looked hurt. He brought her closer hugging her and held her for a while.

“Do you love her?” she finally asked.

“What’s all this love talk?” he smiled. “I don’t know. She just makes me better. And I don’t want to be the asshole here. I can’t have her hating me and you hating me.”

“I could never hate you.” Max whispered.

“You would. If we kept going, and I went back to the city, to my girlfriend, you would Max. Trust me.”

She thought for a second. They were silent. He wasn’t wrong.

“Can I please stay?” she asked. “We can just sleep. I promise.”

“Yes.” He squeezed her again, “I don’t think I want you to leave.”

“You don’t?”

“No. Max…” He hesitated _._ “…I care about you.”

"You do?"

“Sure… I think about you sometimes.” He needed a cigarette.

Her heart swooned. “I-..” She was ready to unload every single feeling she had and didn’t know she had with his admission but bit her lip holding back.

“Hey kid, I know” he said watching her trying to process it all. He touched her hair. “… and I don’t want to be alone in this room either.” He gave her a half smile as she cuddled in close to him relaxing into the bed.

“Okay. Don’t leave without saying goodbye tomorrow.” she whispered falling asleep eyes starting to close.

He sighed. My god. That was incredibly hot. Like a back-in-the-day-crazy-secret-highschool-dry-humping-makeout-in-his-old-bed hot. How many girls had he sneakily hooked up with in this room? What a different person he was back then. What a different time. Had he ever stopped midway? Nope. And now one of the girls was Max? This was insane.

She closed her eyes and slept deeply. Her breathing relaxed and he watched her fall asleep in his arms. He moved her hair out of her eyes behind her ears. He studied her face as she slept and touched her cheek. He couldn’t resist kissing her face once softly just feeling how warm it was. She was beautiful. Her skin was as soft as he imagined.

He suddenly felt angry. She was so lost. She had so much growing up to do. High school was such a weird fucked up time and she was looking to him for the answers. No way. Too much. He ran away from all this. He was beyond this point in his life and did not want to go back. He didn’t need any of this.

“Shit” he whispered. Did he actually care about her? Was he now responsible for her? He felt old feelings rising to the surface and he didn’t like it. He instinctively protected her growing up for years and he subconsciously resented her for it, but that resentment had turned from anger into something else. There is a thin line between love and ugly feelings of hate.

They didn’t know how to love. They were two fucked up people raised by horrible parents. They weren’t brother and sister. They never were. They were strangers that were looking for a lifeline. He had grown up so much since then. He had come so far emotionally. He didn’t want to go back down that road and yet he also felt like he wanted the responsibility of her back that he had given up years ago. He wanted to take care of her.

“Shit” he said again.. He hugged her more tightly as her hand instinctively went around him and they fell asleep that way.

*****

Very early the next morning, Billy was dressed sitting on the edge of his bed ready to get the hell out of there watching Max sleep. It was hard for him not to just take off and leave, but he knew that was the old him. He had to deal with this mess. He was just as much to blame. She slowly woke up as the light came in through the curtains and the sound of a cab drove up through the snow in the driveway.

“Hey” she said groggily.

“Hey Max.” he smiled. Wow, even just waking up she looked stunning. Her hair was messy and she was in his childhood bed. She was so adorable.

“Are you leaving?” she asked sadly sitting up a little.

“Yeah. My cab is here. Snow stopped.”

“Okay.” She looked down. “When will we see you again?”

“Look… we should probably talk-“

“I’m sorry about last night.” She blurted out.

“Hey, don’t apologize Max. I was right there too.”

“It was fun.” She said hopefully. He took a breath and ran his hands over his temples and eyes feeling drained as he looked at her. It took everything not to get back into bed with her and continue where they left off. He looked up.

“Look - I just think we need to cool our jets here.”

“Okay… so what does that mean?”

“Max, I care about you, a lot, and you clearly are –“

Her eyes widened. _She’s clearly what??_

“Max, I just can’t –“

“Yeah, I get it you have a girlfriend.” She said angrily.

“No, that’s only part of it – That’s not really what this is about.” He said matching her anger. “You need to grow up and...” He found himself saying. “I need to let you.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” she demanded raising her voice.

This was way more than he could handle right now. “I have to go.” This fucking town he thought. He had to get out of here before he said something worse.

She sat up taller. Her arms were crossed. She was pissed.

“So that’s it. You’re out. We never see you again? Again!”

“Come on Max- I don’t know! I don’t know what to think! I don’t want to – hey - you don’t need me holding you back, in your way- “

“But you’re not! I’m drowning here, I need you!” She yelled.

“Max, I can’t – I just – this is - I’m sorry. You don’t know what you’re actually asking for here.”

“Yes I do! Fuck you.” She said.

“Fine. Be mad.” He yelled. “You’re just a kid anyway.” And he left the room abruptly.

She jumped up and followed him down the hall to the living room.

“Didn’t feel that way last night!” she screamed after him as he put on his winter jacket hurrying to get out. “Fine! Leave!”

He turned around at the door grabbing his bag and looked at her one last time standing there in just her t-shirt and underwear and eyes full of anger.

“Whatever.” He said and slammed the door.

She turned and ran into her own room and threw herself on her pillow sobbing as the cab drove away. What an idiot she was! Fucking coward she thought. Fuck him.

Five minutes later her mom knocked on the door.

“Honey?” she heard her mom open it and sit on the bed.

She stopped crying and composed herself. “What?” she answered.

“What’s going on?” her mom asked very concerned. “Why were you both fighting? Why did Billy leave?”

“I don’t know.” Max lied.

“Is something going on with you guys?” Her mom asked worriedly.

“No.” Max lied facing the pillow.

“Maxy.” Her mom said. “I’m not an idiot. I watched you watch him all night.”

Max sighed, turned around, and looked down as the tears fell freely.

“Oh no.” her mom muttered and was silent.

Max continued to cry. Susan was at a loss processing how to make her daughter not hate her again for another five years after finally getting along.

“I guess I shouldn’t be so shocked.” Her mom said.

Max wiped her eyes. “I don’t know what to do.” She whispered. “I feel like he’s the only one who gets me.”

Her mom tried to listen conscious of the fact that her daughter was actually confiding in her.

“I don’t know if that’s true honey. But look you’re 18. You can do what you want… and deal with the consequences.”

“Don’t you think it’s weird if Billy and I were together?” Max asked.

Her mom let out a big sigh. “Oh honey… I… look, I’ve learned over the years with what I’ve been through, what this family has been through… it’s best not to judge.”

Max was blown away.

“But" her mom continued "that doesn’t mean others won’t. AND it doesn’t mean it’s the right decision. This is a small gossipy town… which is why he probably left. Oh Maxy… why are you choosing the hard road?”

“I think he made the choice for me.” Max looked up.

“Oh I see….” She thought for a second. “It’s probably for the best honey.”

Max started crying again.

“Hey, what about Lucas? He’s crazy about you. He’s such a good guy.”

Max nodded. He was. But Lucas didn’t make her feel like Billy did.

“Maybe focus on things that are more in your control?” Her mom tried.

Max smiled sniffling looking at her mom. What was this? Her mom was present and even trying to see her side. Where was this person her whole life? What a difference since Neil. “That’s like actually good advice mom.”

“I’m really trying honey. I’m reading lots of self help books. I sound like I know what I’m talking about right?” she smiled and hugged her daughter.

“Kinda.”

“I don’t….but I’m trying. Let’s go to the crappy diner and eat waffles.”

Max smiled.

*****

Later that day, she sat on her bed and actually felt a lot better. Fuck Billy. She felt stupid and embarrassed. She really threw herself out there, but he didn’t say no. He was turned on. It was hot. She knew he was into it. She knew he was… but she wasn’t enough? What a dick to just leave like that and cut her out again! Fuck him.

She had to move on from this all-consuming crush. It was just a dumb obsession anyway right? Yes, she thought about him all the time, dreamed about him, he felt like oxygen to her lately. He felt like he was a part of her and probably always had been.

He gave her an escape, a purpose, and even happiness when she thought of him. How was she going to push down what felt like part of her identity? Yet, this couldn’t be healthy to live like this only focused on one person who couldn’t reciprocate the emotions. One person who also happened to be sort of related to her.

She could rule this town like Billy use to and could have any guy she wanted. She sighed. It all sounded exhausting and boring. She knew it was time to refocus on the writing scholarship. She had let it go for last year but now she could reapply. Her contact there who knew her English teacher said she should try again once things calmed down at home.

That’s it. She’d work on her writing and refocus. New plan! She would put stupid Billy out of her mind since he obviously wasn’t interested and was in love with his perfect girlfriend. He clearly thought things were a mistake with them last night even though she was so sure the intense connection they shared he couldn’t possibly feel with anyone else. But now, she felt embarrassed and was ready to stop obsessing. She knew how to bury feelings better than anyone. “Enough.” She said to herself as she packed up the moving boxes taping them shut with all her old things inside.

******

As Billy boarded the plane, he couldn’t get Max out of his head. He kept adjusting himself in the seat because it turned him on just thinking about her. Shit, he did the right thing right? He probably could have handled that better. She was so pissed when he left. Fuck this.

What was he doing? New York was calling and that was his real home. His amazing girlfriend was there. His girlfriend… shit… she was everything to him. She had helped him so much. The way she supported him and encouraged him to work out his demons. Who would do that? She loved him. She would probably even understand how to handle this.

No, he couldn’t be with Max. This is crazy. His step sister? Not that he cared at all what anyone in stupid Hawkins thought and they were not actually related, but it would just be weird. Yet he had to admit, that was one of the hottest makeouts ever. The connection they share, their history, the taboo feeling of it all… it made it all the more intense.

He reclined his seat and tried to fall asleep, he thought of how they left things. Not good. But, he was right. She would get over it. She couldn’t stay mad forever. Yes, he was saving her from him. She may even thank him someday.

As he looked out the window into the clouds, he kept thinking about her. Damn it. Why was he feeling guilty? Why was he suddenly remembering her at the pool when they were kids watching him? And that other strange interaction in her room when they were younger that he tried to forget? Did she always have a crush on him? Should he really entertain this idea? Didn’t hurt to fantasize about her right?

******

Billy was surprised when months had gone by and he hadn’t heard from Max. When the New Year came and went, he got a little worried. He probably should have called. But he didn’t want to lead her on and she probably still hated him. He was about to reach out but he realized he didn’t know their numbers anymore. He didn’t even have their new address and now it was almost springtime he thought as his phone rang.

“Is this William Hargrove?” the woman said.

“Ah yes? It’s Billy.”

“Hold for Mr. Harrington please.”

_WTF?_

“Hargrove!” Billy heard Steve on the other line.

“Hey, ah Harrington. What’s up?” Billy was instantly annoyed.

“You’re a hard person to reach! We’ve been calling for a while. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that we got the official bank check for you. Do you want me to deposit the amount into the account you gave me? It’s a huge sum.”

“Sure. What’s the final number?” Billy actually never thought this would happen and was still not sure he wanted it.

“240K” Steve said “That’s an amazing deal for that place. I have to say, I’m pretty good at my job.”

“Wow, so this is happening.” Billy responded.

“Yup. Congrats. That’s it Billy – good to work with you.”

“Cool. Thanks I guess. Ah… One more thing – how’s Susan and Max?” Billy asked.

“Oh they seem really good. Settled in the new place. I see them around town all the time. I’m looking out for them. Don’t worry.”

_Sure you are._

_But guess it was good._

“Great.” Billy said ready to get off the phone. He got his info. They were fine.

He was debating about asking for their number when Steve said, “Guess you’ll see Max when she gets to New York for school next September. See ya Billy.” He hung up.

So Max was moving here. Wow. He smiled. She didn’t even let him know. Huh. He frowned. She was definitely still mad at him. Thank goodness he didn’t sleep with her. Maybe she wasn’t even thinking about him. He on the other hand couldn’t stop thinking about her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter three!... and they kiss - finally. I keep messing with it, so figured I'd just publish already. Hopefully it flows okay! Thank you for reading and for comments :)


	4. Rocket Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the final chapter. Billy and Max finally find each other.

**THREE YEARS LATER**

Billy had taken the money from the sale of the house and decided to invest it. At first he wanted nothing to do with any money tied to Neil, but then he got over himself after living dirt poor living in the city eating only Ramen noodles long enough.

One of his work buddies from the bar kept talking about opening up his own place but he needed capital. There was a great deal on a fixer-upper space on the lower east side near Avenue B, but still in the heart of things. Billy felt like he had found money so he decided to take a chance. It was the best decision ever.

Billy’s new business partner was reliable and in charge of the finances while Billy handled everything else.

Billy knew he could run something. He had learned a lot in the years he was bartending. He was good with clientele and didn’t take bullshit from employees. And he actually had some cool ideas about what people might want in a bar.

They took out a long-term lease on the place and fixed it up. The best thing about the location is that after you made your way though the main bar, if you walked out towards the back, down a few steps, there was enclosed outdoor area. The bar’s backyard was filled with thick trees that canopied over the patio creating a semi-private oasis. It could easily be incorporated into the décor.

There’d be great music but nothing live and mostly there’d be amazing beers from all over the place.

“I’m sure we can find cool beers beyond Coors Light” Billy was saying. “I’ve served enough Coors Light and Bud Lights, there’s gotta be more that people want.”

Their bar became a destination for people who wanted good beer, good tunes, and a cool outdoor space with a laidback beach vibe all year round. It was still loud, crazy, and too packed most nights with a crowd that loved to swing punches, but overall Billy was pretty impressed with what he’d put together.

After a rocky start apparently typical for a new place, the business was actually making money. One positive article was published in an underground New York magazine and the word was out. Since then, the bar became a destination. They were even thinking about a second location.

****

Max moved in with Shelby and her roommate after one of them moved out. Max didn’t love sharing a room, but she was happy she had a place that was slightly affordable. Max was barely there and it was nice knowing Shelby from home. It made her mom less anxious that she was living off campus.

Max got a job at the campus café and bookstore and focused all her energies on the writing program. She excelled now that she actually cared about the subject matter.

Max’s first year in the city was not as easy as she thought it would be. She missed her friends from Hawkins who at this point she considered her family and found herself calling them often. It took her awhile to make new friends.

She wasn’t sure why she was keeping Shelby at a distance. Perhaps she was trying to push the person she was back home out of her mind since it reminded her too much of Billy, but one night Max let her guard down after a particularly hard week at school and the two friends sat up all night talking and drinking and getting high. After that, they were close. Shelby invited Max out to parties and dinners, and even paid for Max if she couldn’t afford it. Max thought about Billy with his crew and was proud of herself for making her own group of friends.

After a long time of ignoring the fact that Billy was in the city, Max finally sent him a letter. It was a letter of facts and no emotion. She told him where she was living, how she got into school, and her info if he wanted to reach out. When months went by and there was no answer, Max finally called. His number had been disconnected. She even casually found herself down by the Parkside Lounge one night with friends.

She walked in. It looked the same but this time Max was confident and asked for Billy. He hadn’t worked there in a long time apparently. After that final attempt, Max figured that was it. He had disappeared again and was probably in Los Angeles with his girlfriend at this point. She was furious at herself for even trying. He clearly wasn’t.

Every time Max would find herself thinking about or missing Billy, she would push the feeling away. Each day that went by, she tried desperately not to fantasize about him and considered it a good day if she didn’t.

She sometimes felt a sadness so crushing she actually got physically sick. She was tired a lot and slept more than normal. She also had no one to talk about it all. How do you explain to someone the deep forbidden connection you have with your step-brother?

The weeks turned into months and Max would realize she hadn’t thought about him in a while. Slowly, she started to move beyond her fixation and engage in life. She was impressed with how she could ignore those emotions by distracting herself with school, friends, alcohol, drugs, and by dating. She knew none of the guys she dated made her feel like Billy, but she was trying.

She knew there were times she was faking it and was aware that even the good moments in her life were harder to enjoy or she needed alcohol or pot to stay present. But maybe that’s what being adult was all about she reasoned. Sometimes she made horrible decisions or drank too much or went too far with a guy she didn’t like that much.

But now that she had been in the city for years, finals were almost over, she had good friends, a good job, she was actually looking forward to the summer in New York City to do whatever she wanted. She felt good about herself and confident for the first time in awhile.

It was early June and Max had just broken things off with a guy she had dated for almost six months which was her longest boyfriend since Lucas. He was a city kid meaning he actually grew up in New York City. He was cute, artsy, and knew all the clubs and underground places. He made fun of Max for saying “New York City” all the time instead of the city. His family was loaded with a brownstone on the upper west side. She and Shelby went to his family house in the Hamptons memorial day weekend. It was a lifestyle she enjoyed visiting but it was not her scene.

She realized she stayed with him longer than she did simply because of his social connections. She was also pretty sure he was making out with other girls on the side. It just wasn’t worth it. The sex was fine, usually they were drunk, and it never got Max where she needed to be. Their connection felt shallow. Shelby was bummed when that one didn’t work out. Now they had to wait on lines at clubs and bars again.

“Oh, he just knew everyone and his family had a boat! We didn’t even get to go on it!” Shelby said disappointed but smiling.

“You can date him!” Max laughed.

Max had just finished her junior year finals. They were hard, but she felt like she did well. The café bookstore was open all year round so she applied to work there full time until school started up again in the fall. This would be the first year that she didn’t go home for the summer. The school library recently got electronic mail on their computers so she could write to her friends at home who of course already had their computers all set up ready to respond.

“Should we go wait on a line at a dance club or something?” Shelby asked after Max threw herself down on the couch finally done with her school work for the year. “We should celebrate.”

Shelby was the perfect person to go out with. It was easy to meet people when they were together. Max was never someone to start a conversation with a group of people, but Shelby, she’d talk to anyone with her upbeat personality and Max kept them entertained with her sarcasm and witty comments.

“I don’t know if I feel like a dance club.” Max said.

“I might be able to get us into The Limelight?” Shelby smiled.

“No, one time was enough.” Max laughed remembering a crazy night with her recent ex.

“Let’s just go to a bar downtown then” Shelby said. “What about that band place Arlene’s Grocery?

Max shrugged. “Sure.”

Max and Shelby got dressed up for a fun Saturday night out in the east village. Black boots, short skirts, cool accessories, and a bit of glam makeup. They smoked some weed then headed downtown on the subway to the bar psyched to hear good bands play.

Since they were finally of drinking age, they could get in anywhere! It was definitely less scary than when Max first came downtown years ago. In fact, it wasn’t scary at all. It was exhilarating.

They stayed for hours listening to music, talking to each other, the bartender, different groups of people, Max gave out her number to one guy and ended up making out with another outside the bar at before midnight.

“Let’s go!” Shelby said in a drunken fashion ripping Max away from her current hookup.

“Bye!” Max laughed and they ran down the street laughing.

“What was his name?”

“No idea but he was adorable.” Max yelled out loud.

“Where to next?” Shelby asked.

“Maybe we should call it a night?” Max looked at her watch then looking up when she heard The Pixie’s _Where Is My Mind_ playing from a bar across the street.

“Oh, I love this song.” Max remarked noticing a bar they’d never seen before.

A wood picket faux fence lined the façade of the bar, and cool surf stickers and stylized graffiti were placed all over it. They had wondered in the wrong direction towards Avenue A instead of back towards the subway.

“It looks so cool. One more drink?” Shelby smiled and crossed over.

Luckily, the line of people waiting to get in moved quickly. The bouncer checked their IDs and let them inside as the sounds of _Photograph_ by Def Leopard started playing loudly. The bouncer looked familiar to Max and she figured he probably knew her ex.

It was packed inside with a hot crowd, dimmed lighting, cigarette smoke slithering up to the ceiling, and a few neon signs that lite the way. They eventually made their way up to the bar and ordered drinks. There were so many beer choices. They ordered IPAs on tap the bartender pointed to recommending over the loud music.

Shelby grabbed Max’s hand and led her to the open area in the back of the bar that was less noisy. It was always such a treat to find hidden outdoor spaces downtown. They stood together drinking and laughing not noticing the time and enjoying the music.

*****

Billy was dealing with a crowded house with lines out the door but slowly dwindling as the night wore on. His bar had really had become the hot spot for anyone who didn’t want shit beer. The girls came for the outdoor venue, the guys came for the beer, and they stayed because there was always someone cute to go home with at the end of the night. It was a winning combo and they were right in the heart of the lower east side. It was still grungy and dirty, but Billy loved it even on a wild Saturday night.

Billy had an office space above the bar that came with the lease. He and his partner spent most of their time during busy times there and when it got quieter they ventured downstairs often the last ones to leave. Locals and familiar faces were part of the regular late night crowd that always made it interesting.

As it got later one fateful Saturday night, Billy eventually made his way downstairs and noticed many of the regulars.

“Hey Billy” one inebriated girl drawled when she saw him, “Want a drink?”

“Another time Jess.” He winked at her.

“Think your friend needs some help” Her girlfriend was passed out on a chair in the corner. “Oh shit.” The girl ran over to her friend.

“Busy night Billy” said the bartender.

“Good.” Billy light up a cigarette and took in the scene. He was just about ready to head home.

*****

Shelby and Max sat drinking their tap beers and managed to find a seat on an outdoor bench that was situated under a big oak tree in the middle of the outdoor patio. White sparkle lights illuminated the tree making the backyard look magical and dreamlike.

“This is like the coolest little oasis” Shelby said. “We have to come back here.”

“It’s really amazing.” Max agreed.

The music from inside was loud enough to be heard outside but not too loud that they couldn’t actually have a conversation as _Bizarre Love Triangle_ by New Order started playing.

“Shelby, isn’t that your history professor? That old guy?” Shelby looked over and her heart stopped. “OH MY GOD. He’s here!” She said. She had shown Max a picture of him. He was divorced, much older, beard, glasses, and wearing a tweed jacket this time of year.

He definitely looked like an intellectual. Max did not get it at all, but Shelby was smitten. “Max, I’m going over.”

“You have to.”

“He and I have been flirting all year!”

“I know” Max rolled her eyes smiling.

She watched her friend go off and Max was just about to call it a night when she looked up and thought she saw a ghost. There he was. Walking down the steps, with his cigarette, as if looking for someone. Max's heart skipped a beat and her stomach dropped. She even shook her head a second to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. Billy.

His cool swagger, his crisp button down, his blond locks, he looked even more gorgeous than ever. She stood up about to run over the short distance from the bench to the foot of the stairs but stopped herself, remembering.

Billy was walking down the back stairs of his place surveying the outdoor scene before he left. He leaned against a wall continuing to smoke his cigarette.

That’s when he saw her, staring at him, “Max?” he chocked out surprised.

“Billy” She said not knowing if he could hear her and waved a dumb wave.

He pushed off the wall and immediately went over to her.

“Hey” he said staring unbelievably.

“Hey” she smiled wide eyed.

“Ah, hi” he said it again and leaned in to give her a quick hug. She responded politely and closed her eyes taking in his familiar scent.

He was dizzy. She looked even more stunning than before. She looked like an adult. She looked sophisticated and confident like a city girl. He couldn’t believe she was right in front of him.

“Wow, what are you doing here?” He asked incredulously.

Overrun with emotions dancing around her head, she took a deep breath trying to play it cool “Yeah, you know, I’m… I’m just out at a bar. With my girlfriend… who just got up for a second.”

Max could see her friend was deep in conversation with the professor who had his hand on Shelby’s knee.

“Just out at a bar?” Billy smirked raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, seems like a cool place.” She felt like she was babbling.

“Do you think this place is cool?” he asked getting closer.

“Ah, yeah, I guess so?” she froze. He was so close to her so she kept rambling nervously. “Um, this tree and the lights, it’s funny it sort of reminds me of home or something.”

“Yeah?”

“Stupid right?” what were they even talking about.

“No, not at all.” He said.

Silence.

“Billy –“ She started not being able to hold back her disbelief of their casualness any longer.

“Max – “ He said at the same time.

“No you go.” He smiled.

“I can’t believe you dropped off the face of the earth… again…” she refused to get lost in his familiar eyes.

“I didn’t think you wanted much to do with me.”

“Really? That’s bullshit.” She replied angrily. “I mean, maybe at first, but I told you, I wanted to at least stay in touch. You just bolted.”

“Max, I’m sorry, I – “ he began to explain more.

“Billy we’re out of The Brooklyn Lager!” he heard someone calling from the bar.

“Okay cool. New shipment coming in the AM. Push the new one from Vermont.” He yelled back.

“Do you work here?” Max asked.

“Sort of.”

“What?”

“Well, I… sort of, it’s my place, I’m the owner.”

“What?” Max couldn’t believe it. “Since when?”

“Since I got all that dumb house money.” He said. “I took a chance. It was found money anyway.”

“Wow.” Max was truly impressed. “So all the surfboards and the cool beers… and the white tree lights.”

“Yeah, all me.” Billy said. “My partner is the money side. I kinda do everything else.”

“It’s incredible.” Max whispered.

But she was still angry. She looked down.

She could feel all the years of burying her feelings starting to rise up and explode. She kind of thought she might be sick. She had to calm down.

“Wow, Max.” He said smiling looking at her. “Sit down.” He sat and patted the space next to him. She slowly did. She didn’t trust herself. She didn’t want to get hurt again. She had really moved on from dreaming of some future with him. She stopped wearing his necklace. She was dating other guys. She was good. No, she would be more careful this time. She wasn’t a kid anymore whose heart he could crush.

“Look, I’m really sorry Max.”

 _Hmm… sure you are._ She just stared at him for a while suspiciously not responding.

He tried a different tactic. “Hey, tell me, how you are?”

“Really great.” She responded more confidently than she felt.

“You’re in that writing program at Columbia?” She looked over at him stunned her mouth agape. If he knew that why didn’t he at least try and get up there. Find her. She could feel herself getting even angrier. It’s a huge school but he could have asked around, called someone for her info. So typical him. Always her making the effort and now here they were making small talk like nothing went down after three years of complete silence?

“Yeah. It’s amazing. Just finished my junior year finals. It’s great. Working at the bookstore. You know. It’s great. Just great. I’m great.” My god, how many times did she say great. She looked down at her hands that she placed on her legs.

“Sounds great.” He smiled. “You seem like a real New Yorker now. All grown up.” He watched her touch her legs. He wanted to touch her more than anything. He wanted to pull her close and kiss her. She had no idea the power she had over him. He thought about her more than he realized and had all these bizarre dreams all about her. He couldn’t ignore what his subconscious was telling him.

“Yeah, I guess so. Not so scary anymore.” She fake smiled throwing up her hands daring to look into his blue eyes then down again.

“Are you with anyone?” He asked.

She thought for a second keeping her guard up. “I’m in between boyfriends if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Oh are you?” he smirked.

She took a sip of her beer and looked away from him gazing out into the crowd.

“I’ve missed you Max.”

She huffed.

“I don’t believe you.” She said truthfully, her voice low and steady, her eyes narrow as she looked back at him. 

“It’s true Max. I’ve really missed you. Maybe I didn’t handle things so great.”

“You think?” she said sarcastically.

“Hey, I’m not perfect here. I don’t know the answers. I did what seemed right at the time.”

Silence.

“Okay….” She said confused and irritated. What did he want from her? “You could have tried harder Billy to stay in touch, that was the asshole move you made. You get that right? I sent you a letter. I- forget it.” She complained.

“Wait, what?”

“I just put in a lot of effort to find you the first time AND then a second time and I don’t know if I have it in me to do that a fucking third time all over again and then… poof.” She said throwing her hand up and looking out at the bar again.

“I’m not going to disappear.” He said. “Max, look at me.”

No. She huffed angrily again. “I can’t go through all that again.”

“Hey, kid, I never got any letter. I’ve moved like three times since that shit apartment.”

She thought about that apartment and when she slept over. It was one of her favorite memories when she allowed herself to remember.

“The one with the couch made for tiny mice?” she said under her breath looking down at her feet.

“Yes, that one.” He chuckled. “There probably were tiny mice living there.”

She exhaled turning to humor or her anger would take over.

“Then they probably were really confused by the massive coffee table.”

He laughed out loud.

“Max, only you can crack me up like that!”

No it wasn’t going to be this easy for him. No way! “Why didn’t you try and find me?” she whispered angrily again into his eyes.

“Max, jeez” he needed another cigarette, “I wasn’t sure you wanted me to and I really didn’t want to mess up your life.”

“How can you say that?” she pleaded.

“Because besides this bar, most things don’t work out for me and you needed a chance to live … without me. You didn’t need me holding you back.”

“You have NO idea what I need. You didn’t even give me a choice.” She said angrily.

Three years! Three years of her trying to forget him and he just wanted her to say, no problem. _No way._

A glass broke and Max jumped looking over at Shelby who had dropped it on the ground where it shattered. She was full on making out with the professor.

“Is that your friend?” Billy asked motioning to one of the bartenders to clean up the glass that just broke.

“Yeah, sorry about that… and that’s her history teacher. She is definitely going home with him tonight.”

Billy laughed, “Ya think?”

Max rolled her eyes. She was not going to share in a moment with Billy. No, they weren’t friends.

“Where do you live?” he leaned in.

“Upper east.” she replied.

He smiled at her. He couldn’t be happier. His beautiful little step sister at his bar looking up at him. “You made my night.” He smiled and leaned in grabbing her hand.

She felt a jolt when he touched her that scared her. She quickly pulled her hand away.

“You’re making this confusing.” She sat up straighter shifting back.

“Oh? Am I?”

“Where’s your girlfriend?’ she said with more attitude then she meant.

“Stephanie. She’s great. I mean, she’s doing great in California.”

“Yeah?” Max said annoyed then couldn’t help herself, “I saw her show. She’s like actually famous and shit.”

“I know.” Billy said. “Yeah, we tried to make it work. Just too hard with her so far away.”

“Okay, so, to be clear, you’re saying you broke up?” Max said making sure they were crystal clear here.

“Yeah, we’re still friends. How does she say it, ”It was a successful relationship” but it’s over.”

“Great. That’s just great for you.” Max said not really wanting to talk about his ex. This was dumb. She was even more furious now and wanted to get the hell out of there.

“Hey Max, you and Me, we are–“ he started to explain more.

“Oh my god, Billy Hargrove!” Shelby stumbled over pulling the professors hand within hers. Billy and Max stood up to greet them. “I haven’t seen you since I had a major crush on you in high school! Wow Max. Your brother still looks exactly the same!”

“Step-“ Max and Billy said together at the same time “Brother.”

“Ah right.” Shelby winked.

“Ah, hem” the professor interjected. “Shall we on without apology?” He asked Shelby quoting Romeo and Juliet. Max couldn’t help but be happy for her eager friend despite an increasing urge to roll her eyes.

“Yes. I’ll see ya tomorrow. Take a cab.” She smiled at Max and was off.

Max and Billy stood facing each other underneath the sparkling lights of the oak tree.

“I need to go.” Max felt his eyes locked on her. She put her glass down on the bench.

“Wait. No.” Billy said. “We just found each other again.”

“Billy, you were right, I was a silly girl the last time I saw you. I had dumb plans and as I grow up I see that it was stupid.”

“What was stupid?” he asked grabbing her hand again so she wouldn’t leave.

“Us, this!” she used her other hand waving at the space between them.

“Really? This is stupid? You really think that?” he matched her tone.

“Yes!” she shook her hand free from his grasp. “You’ve got this whole life. You clearly don’t even care what I’ve been through in mine and all I’ve done to try and forget you. I can NOT do this again. It’s too fucking much!” She wasn’t going to cry. No way… so she ran.

Before he knew it she had run up the stairs and out of his bar.

“What the hell?” he muttered. She was super fast, but he was faster and quickly hurried after her. He heard the bartender and the patrons all calling after him trying to have him solve another problem.

“Max!” he yelled. She was booking it down the street and wearing mostly black like every fucking city chick. Damn it, he was going to lose her.

She looked back and saw him and started running even faster as she turned down an avenue but her thick heels were slowing her down. He quickly gained speed and caught up to her. He spun her around.

“MAX! Holy shit! Slow down!” he said snatching her arm making her face him.

“No!” She yelled at him, out of breath. “You don’t get to tell me what to do or what I need or fucking anything!!”

“Yes, I can.” He found himself saying protectively.

“Asshole” she couldn’t believe this shit. “No you can’t!” she tried pushing him unsuccessfully with her other hand.

“Don’t say that. I do care. More than you know.”

“You’ve always been a selfish dick” she yelled struggling to get away as he tightened his hold on her arm and grabbed her other arm. He pulled her closer to him facing him.

“Stop it” he commanded shaking her slightly. “Max, Stop it. I’m here. I care.”

“You stop!” she hissed defiantly realizing she couldn’t move much as he held onto her.

That’s all he needed. “I can’t.” He whispered.

Her fiery temper, her lips red stained from the night, her deep green angry eyes, her breathing heavy from their recent sprint race. Her black leather jacket was open and her little top was fitted and snug in all the right places. Her jean skirt was short showing off her thighs and her black boots were high to her knees. She had dark under eye eyeliner that made her look even more beautiful and sophisticated. And now her cheeks were flushed from running and yelling at him. She looked intoxicating the more she resisted, stuck in his grip.

“Let me go Billy!”

He pulled her closer.

“Don’t disobey me.” He whispered into her ear, voice deep. He knew what to say. He knew her better than she knew herself.

He’d thought about her so much over the years he realized and gone over every interaction between them. They were molded the same, they just got each other. She was right. He was the only one who would ever really understand her.

She quickly looked up at his blue eyes and saw how dark they were focusing only on her. My god, he’s still so gorgeous.

The secret lustful feelings she had pushed away started flooding back. But she had stopped her indulgent obsession with him, and somehow managed to move forward with her life, and suddenly now all of it was front and center again?

He was here. He was right in front of her, wanting her, literally shaking her back to her truth she had buried so far down. Her mind couldn’t process what was right, what was wrong, what she wanted, or what was even healthy anymore.

The only thing she knew is that she couldn’t resist him when he took control of her. He had a hypnotic power over her when he looked at her like that, when he talked to her like that.

‘I-“ she whispered sucking in her breath, feeling her stomach drop, her heart race, and her will power dwindling as he told her what to do.

He leaned in and kissed her hard on the mouth remembering how intense it felt to touch her, feel her, make her his. She whimpered slightly trying to free herself. He pulled his head back to look at her.

“Max.” he whispered then thought for a second, his grip on her was tight, she wasn’t struggling anymore, and it all felt very familiar to him. He whispered in her ear, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Her eyes widened. Did he remember that’s what he said to her when he pinned her up against her bedroom wall years ago? She replayed that moment a thousand times in her mind.

“You… could… never hurt me…Billy” She said staring into his eyes slowly remembering exactly how she replied. He squeezed her arms tightly and he kissed her lips softly and sweetly trying to get her to respond more. She was in her head thinking too hard but it felt so hot. He pulled back and kissed her face and her neck sucking and biting until she was breathing heavily and her eyes were shut.

“Never.” He murmured in her ear.

“Fuck.” She whispered.

“That’s the idea.” He looked at her again. She wasn’t scared. She was entranced. He knew it.

“Billy, I-“ she tried again but knew it was futile. How could this be wrong if it felt so good?

He kissed her again his tongue parting her mouth and intertwining with hers and this time she kissed back, deeply, passionately. She moaned into him and his grip on her arms loosened. He grabbed the back of her head and her lower back pulling her closer deepening the kiss. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and as much as she tried to resist, she didn’t have the strength and melted into him grasping the back of his neck with one hand pulling him closer remembering how he made her feel… like no one else did.

After a few minutes, she came up for a breath and opened her eyes. Her body was tingling. She thought she might tear up from all the emotions surging back.

“Max. I have missed you.” He whispered into her ear, then “My place.” knowing he couldn’t hold back any longer.

She couldn’t think. He clutched her hand and she let him.

“This way.” He said persuasively as she followed. He was guiding her down a few streets heading north. After a several blocks they reached an apartment building. Billy took out his keys and unlocked the door.

“I can’t wait to get you inside.” Billy said breathing her in.

She’d never seen him like this before with her. It made her feel powerful and beautiful to be so wanted, a sense of control mixed with utter chaos. Her head and her heart were in a battle as she debated if this was a good decision.

They got into the elevator and he held her close to him hands all over her. “Max.” his voice husky.

She said nothing but in a deadpan voice joked “Oh an elevator. Moving up in the world huh?”

He shook his head amused at her. “You know how long I’ve wanted to do this?”

He kissed her hard on the mouth again sucking on her lips, teasing her, tongues intertwined, and holding her face, claiming her. She gasped loudly and he chuckled knowing that he could turn her on so effortlessly.

The elevator door opened too soon on the 5th floor and he led her down the hallway. There weren’t that many apartment doors and it definitely looked cleaner than the old place.

He found his keys and opened the door again all without stopping kissing her. They fell into the apartment, he smoothly slammed the door, hit the bolt lock, took off his light jacket, and dropped his keys on the ground so he could lift her up, wrap her legs around his hips, and push her body against the closed door. He adjusted her up high and against him as her thighs tightened around him. They made out pushing and rocking against each other desperately.

“Fuck Max. I think about you all the time.” He kissed her neck and her face as she made small sweet noises breathing heavily. His hands roamed down the sides of her body, over her heaving chest, and down to her small waist.

“You do?” she breathed opening her eyes.

“I think I might be a little obsessed with you.” He laughed a crazy laugh and put her down looking at her, starring into her eyes.

She saw what she always wished for… Billy totally captivated by her… only her. It didn’t seem real.

He took his hands and pushed her hair back out of her face holding her there. “You really are so beautiful.” he whispered. She bit her lip.

“Come with me.” He said deeply and took her hand guiding her further inside. Her heart said yes and she followed.

It was the first second she had to look around and it made her mind take over. Big open kitchen, living room, windows with a view over the city, a massive L shape couch, a nice leather chair, was that a framed piece of art on the wall?, and a freaking rug?

He suddenly seemed like an adult who was way older than her. “Billy, this is really a nice place.”

“Yeah…Come here” he said trying to kiss her.

“Hold up” she sat down on a corner of the couch regaining her composure. “I need to think.”

He backed up and leaned against the wall slowly crossing his arms. He looked at her with a half cocky amused look. “You need a minute?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact.” She stated and put her head up high. “So what, this is all yours?” she asked unbelievably.

“Yeah, I bought it.”

“You bought an apartment? I’m currently sharing a shitty room.”

He laughed. “Yeah, and my partner told me to buy the apartment next door so I did. I guess I’m a landlord now too.”

“Wow, you’re doing so well. I’m impressed.”

“This far east, real estate is cheaper I guess.”

“I have no idea. You’re like an adult right now.” She said.

“So are you.” His voice low. “Okay… you think enough?”

He started taking off his boots. He was just in jeans and a crisp button down shirt with a few buttons opened looking so damn hot. He walked backwards towards his bedrooms door never taking his eyes off her.

“I don’t know.” She hesitated. “You’re being very presumptuous.”

“Am I?” He flirted back with her.

She smiled back despite herself. She was in control here or so she thought.

“I have a feeling you want to do more than talk.”

“Do you say that to all the girls?”

“Not many people make it this far Max”. She got up and followed hesitantly getting closer to him. She didn’t want to be too far away.

This is everything she wanted. He was here. It didn’t seem real and she wondered when the other shoe was going to drop.

“You have to say yes. I’m not going make you do anything you don’t want to do. But I think you want to be here.” He said sweetly.

“You better not vanish” she whispered. “and I’m still mad at you. I need more from you…”

“Max. I’ll give you anything you want.”

As he stood there offering her everything, her defenses came down and her heart skipped a beat. She knew she was his. But the grown up confident her pushed it further.

“I… need even more Billy.” she said standing her ground.

“Okay Max.” He mused. “Things were weird before. But everything is different now. You’re different. I’m different. We’re older now. Our old lives are really behind us. It all doesn’t matter anymore. We’re both single, right? I’m never letting you go again.”

She walked closer to him.

He sighed. “You and I… we’re the same. We get each other, on a really deep level. We’re both a little fucked up from how we were raised. We’re not like everyone else… but that’s okay. We have each other.”

“Wow” she said. “I’ve always thought that. Maybe we can help each other be normal.”

“You don’t think you’re normal?” he asked sadly touching her hair as she stood right in front of him.

“No. I feel messed up.” She admitted looking down “Like everything seems harder for me. I don’t know…”

“I used to think that too. But, everyone’s got their baggage and there is no normal.”

She sighed.

“Who decides what’s normal anyway?” he added.

“I guess.”

“Max, I just know that you and I have a connection and maybe we always have. Maybe it started as some messed up brother and sister bond, formed in anger or as a way to survive at first, but it’s evolved into this. And I don’t want to run from whatever this is.”

He played with her hair and put it behind her ears as she looked up at him ”Don’t we deserve to be happy on our own terms?” he continued, “However fucked up that is as long as it’s what we want.”

She sighed. “We?” _They were a ‘we’?_

“Max, I’m not going anywhere… ever again.”

“I want to believe you.”

“Max, I promise.”

She looked down.

“Hey kid… I’m not going to be perfect, I’m sure I’ll make mistakes, and knowing you, I’m sure I’ll piss you off… alot, but I’m not leaving your side. I’m all in.”

She sighed.

He continued. “And I don’t do things half assed, I’m a pretty intense person… as you know. This is an all or nothing thing with me.”

She closed her eyes to process it all. She felt exactly the same. She just pushed it so far down, but now here it was, and it was right.

She looked up at him. He was firm and clear. Not confusing at all. That’s what she needed to hear. She did believe him. She wanted to believe him. I mean, he obviously wanted to sleep with her. But didn’t she? She loved him, she always had.

She fell forward and hugged him desperately as he put his arms around her tightly. She breathed a sigh of relief. He smoothed her hair and nuzzled into her. They embraced each other for a long time. Finally, she pulled back.

“Okay.” She smiled.

“You’re sure?”

“Yes.”

He leaned in and kissed her. A real kiss like when you know. He parted her lips and expertly slid his tongue into her mouth and she followed his lead sucking, nipping, until she felt a burning ache deep within her, she felt it between her legs, in her head, in her heart. Even though it was gentle, it felt more intense than any other kiss.

He held her face, said her name, and touched her hair with his strong hands. As he pulled back to see her response, she was flushed and lightheaded.

“Wow” she whispered gazing at him. “that was like…”

“Real?”

She nodded. _Damn he was good at this._

He smirked at her as a mischievous grin appeared on his face.

He leaned one hand on the wall, the other hand on her arm gently caressing it. His crystal blue eyes sparkling.

“So.” He fondled a long stand of her hair twisting it suggestively, ”Wanna to have some fun Maxine?”

“Yes, I think so.” She whispered anticipating what he had in mind.

“You think so?” He teased.

She quickly pushed open the bedroom door and moved under his arm getting into the room first.

Once she got inside, he closed the door behind her. The room felt cozy and familiar for some reason. There was a soft plush rug under a big king sized bed outfitted with a blue comforter, and another framed piece of art print of the Brooklyn Bridge, but it still felt like her guy’s room. A huge window with curtains drawn closed took up an entire wall. She imagined it must have a spectacular view of the city.

He went and sat at the foot of the bed and pulled her to him so she was standing between his muscular thighs. He sweetly put her hair behind her so it fell down her back.

She tried to push him back onto the bed so she could climb on top. But he was too strong, in charge, and leaned back soaking her in with lustful eyes while she stood before him.

“First…take off your jacket.” His voice husky, hooded eyes locked on her daring her to disobey.

She hesitated, then did as she was told.

“Good.” He stated darkly.

“Take off your top” he ordered.

She did as she was told.

“Good girl”

“Don’t say that.” She whispered but liked it.

“Don’t talk back now.” He stood up and grabbed her arm roughly. She loved it.

He pushed her against the wall behind her and kissed her hard, consuming her, over-powering her. She cried out loudly startled and turned on at the same time.

“You like it rough don’t you?” He whispered pushing her even harder against the wall.

“Yes.” She swallowed the tension pulsating between them “Just like you do.”

He pushed his body against her. Kissing her neck, holding her face, and grinding into her forcefully. She was breathing fast making sweet noises despite herself. He groaned watching her arousal intensify.

“You take off something now.” She whispered. He let go and took off his shirt and she saw his hard muscles. She reached out moving her hand down his firm chest. He looked almost exactly the same as she remembered when she had her first crush on him in high school and she dreamed of caressing what was under his shirt, having secret fantasies about him that got her off.

She slowly moved her hands down, reaching his jeans, and started to undo his belt buckle.

He slapped her hand. It stung.

“I didn’t say you could do that.” He whispered.

“Um. “ she hesitated. “So, what are you going to do about it?”

“Oh Max.” he smirked, “maybe you should get punished.”

“Yes.”

“Now, do I tie you up …or spank your little tight ass?”

She took in a sharp breath and he noticed her eyes widening at the later suggestion.

“Yes?” he asked debating if might let her choose.

“The second one.” She whispered blushing.

He closed his eyes as his erection pushed against his jeans. He took his belt and jeans off quickly and kicked them to the side wearing just his boxers.

He effortlessly removed her bra and couldn’t help but press himself against her soft skin their bodies meeting hotly together. He started kissing down her neck and shoulders. His hands firmly ran over her large breast, holding and massaging them, feeling her nipples perk up to his touch.

He pinched them hard. She cried out surprised but he continued his assault on her. He groaned watching them respond to him then he continued down to her small waist.

Rough hands unzipped her skirt as it fell to the ground and she stepped out of it. Standing in her pink lace cheeky underwear and black knee high boots, he moved backwards sitting back down on the bed and brought her with him.

“Come here.” He breathed heavily trying to prolong the moment. Her body was so hot, she was so gorgeous and all his. It turned him on watching her wait for his next order, anticipating what might happen. “Put your hands on my shoulders and hold on”.

She did and watched him obediently. He smacked her ass firmly with his hand unexpectedly. She jumped, and yelped while digging her fingers into his skin. He watched her, checking in, and could tell she loved it as she bit her lower lip.

“Do what I say.”

He wound his arm back and let it come down hard again.

“Yes” she said loudly and jumped again this time planting her feet slightly apart.

“Say my name.”

He went again. It was hard but he knew how much she could take.

“Yes Billy.” She screamed.

He smacked her ass another time.

“You like that?”

“Yes.” She breathed and closed her eyes. _Yes._

“Harder?”

“Yes.”

“Say please.”

“Please.”

“Louder.”

“Please Billy” She cried out.

She was red and a little sore and so intoxicated by his welcomed harassment she couldn’t think. She was panting, aching for him, and dripping wet from his touch.

“Take off your boots” he said again so turned on by her he didn’t know how long he could play this game. She seductively leaned sideways watching him watch her as she removed her boots.

“Like that?” she asked her hair falling over her shoulders.

“Yes.” He groaned, his hardness in full view through his boxers.

“I like when you watch me.”

“Get over here” he stood up pulling her closer and kissing her hotly rubbing her soar ass alternating from rough touches to gentle and back again. She pressed her thighs together as the wetness pooled between her legs.

“Too rough?”

“No Billy.” She moaned closing her eyes losing herself.

“This is going to be fun Max. You don’t even know what you like yet.”

“No one has ever really asked. “ she admitted.

“I think I know.” He said huskily as he turned her around so her back was to the bed.

He kept kissing her hard, grabbing her ass with his firm hands, her arms wrapped around him urgently. He was trying to take it slow but couldn’t stop himself.

“What are we going to do?”

“Everything.” He whispered into her ear. She felt chills down her spine and a throbbing deep within her core. It was that feeling you chase after.

He leaned her down backwards onto the bed. She crept up and he crawled on top of her, resting most of his weight on his arms so he wouldn’t crush her. She gasped finally feeling pressure on her sex and arching her hips up into him, trying to get some kind of release, feeling how hard and big he was against her inner thigh. He grabbed up one of her legs against him and caressed her thigh roughly.

“You’re so hot, Max, and you’re all mine.”

“Yes Billy” she responded closing her eyes.

“Only mine.”

“Yes.”

“Say that.”

“I’m only yours.”

“Good girl.”

She blushed looking up at him. Was this version of Billy really here now? The one she had always wanted, on top of her, ready for her, wanting her, and claiming her, giving her exactly what she didn’t even know she wanted and needed.

Trembling with anticipation, she gave herself over to the moment completely.

He moved on top of her hungrily kissing her, exploring her, both her knees and thighs squeezing against his body. She was panting, throbbing underneath him trying to grind her hips up to create the friction she so desperately needed. He took pleasure knowing only he could give her body what it needed.

He effortlessly pulled off her soaked underwear and his boxers and kneeled above her briefly. He stroked himself enjoying the view of her lying naked on his bed just like all the times he imagined fucking her in his mind.

“What do you want Max?” he whispered resting down on her, their bodies touching, skin to skin. She moaned on the edge of reason as he grinded into her, her hips arching, his labored breathing in her ear.

She didn’t know what to say. Couldn’t think. No one had ever asked her to say out loud what she wanted before.

His voice rough, he whispered into her ear, “Because I’m going to fuck you.”

She could barely whisper back “I want you to… fuck me.” She had never talked like this before and liked it.

“Say that.”

“Fuck me”

“Say my name”

“Fuck me Billy.”

He kissed her hard while moving her legs even further apart with his knee, he slowly slid his hand down her flat stomach to the slick folds between her legs. She gasped and jumped when he started rotating his strong fingers on her sensitive spot in firm tight circles.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you.“ he whispered then bent down and moved his tongue, biting, and tugging gently at her nipples while his hand moved faster below.

“Yes.” She exclaimed. “Billy, I –“

“Have you ever come before?” he whispered.

“Yes.” she could barely get the words out. “But, not like this.”

He continued to make her moan, touching her, feeling what she needed. Her hips rising pushing against his hand. He slipped two thick fingers inside her easily and started pumping in and out feeling her tighten around him as he shifted his fingers expertly, curling slightly, sensing her rhythm. He moved his thumb onto her vulnerable clit, rotating faster, her legs shaking, and watched her gasp loudly about to gush all over him. Then he stopped.

“Not yet.” He teased.

“Billy!”

“Not until I tell you to.”

“Please.” She yelled madly.

He removed his hand and replacing it with his mouth, sucking, and teasing her, rolling his tongue exactly where she’d love it, over and over fulfilling his own secret fantasy of going down on her just like this.

His hands massaged roughly on her thighs feeling them starting to tremble again. She grabbed his head as her hips arched up to meet him, “Billy, I can’t-“

He could feel her writhing, waiting for him to give permission, and the sweet power he had over her made him almost explode.

“Come for me” his voice commanded as his mouth assaulted her again allowing her to finish. He could feel her letting go, gripping his forearm near her thigh with one hand, and with the other pushing his head harder into her sex, her sweet wetness all over him. He was the one who controlled her and it made him so hot for her.

“Oh my god.” She screamed coming hard, back arching, and eyes shutting tight, letting the intense convulsions wash over her and riding out the best orgasm of her life. It felt like years of emotions exploding from within her.

She was breathless and exhausted as she slowly came down from her high. Glistening with sweat, she was never more beautiful to him.

He couldn’t wait any longer to be inside of her.

“Are you on the pill?” he breathed.

She nodded yes unable to form words.

“I’m not going to use anything okay?”

She nodded again.

He shifted back up on top of her

“Billy” she whispered. “That was… amazing.”

“You’re so fucking hot Max. I’m not done with you yet.”

He moved above her and expertly guided himself into her sensitive entrance. She urged him inside as the promise of another orgasm took over her mind, and then her body followed suit realizing that inevitable pleasure was so close again.

He pushed gently at first and easily slid in, she was dripping for him, and he could feel her walls accepting all of him as he went deeper and deeper with long slow thrusts. The rhythm and the motion making her scream out.

“Yes” she moaned and wrapped her arms over his shoulders and legs around him.

He started to move on top of her, riding her slowly, then faster, then slow again, teasing her, and savoring the extreme feeling, prolonging his own release.

“Don’t stop.” She breathed.

“Max.” he murmured kissing her again.

“Harder.” She whispered.

He drove into her, thrusting into her sex, and fucking her hard. Every push she gasped a little more feeling his skillful movement as intensely as he did. She was loud and he liked it. Her eyes closed as she concentrated losing herself in the extreme movement.

He could feel her hips rising rocking against him thrilled he could get her there so quickly again, her thighs tensing and shaking slightly as her nails dug into his flexed biceps. His breathing was heavy as he watched her let him fuck her.

“Billy.” She whispered and he could tell she was so close, so he shifted one hand down to the wet smooth area he owned and started firmly circling again pounding into her at the same time.

She could feel him inside her driving into a deep spot she couldn’t ever reach and her entire body felt like it was shaking from the force, the bliss of it, she felt it all over “Oh my, fucking- “ she came hard, clenching around him, tightening on him. She cried out loudly, grabbing his arms, and burying her face in his neck, losing herself in the raw sensation, waves of pleasure washing over her.

Finally, he felt her relax into him. She was still coming down jerking slightly, and whimpering softly from her high.

“Holy shit.” She murmured and looked up at him her body hugging him tightly. “Billy… now you.”

He could barely breathe ready for his own release.

“Fuck me hard like you like it” she whispered.

He moved faster this time, assaulting and fucking her body how he wanted, It was rough and hard for her small frame. He couldn’t last long, he was so lost, his orgasm coming on strong, deep inside him.

“Fuck” he groaned and held onto one of her firm breasts as he came spilling into her. He felt it all over, the intensity of it, and he collapsed over her, his head in her soft hair.

They lay there for a minute breathing fast, completely destroyed, feeling their bodies connected as one, and pressed hotly together. He found her face and kissed her mouth deeply feeling grateful for her, for the moment.

Slowly, he rolled off her totally spent. She immediately missed him. They lay there for a while, eyes closed as their breathing slowly returned to normal.

“So that happened.” Max finally said.

He chuckled and squeezed her hand next to his.

“You okay?”

“Yes.” She breathed.

“Too much?”

“No. So good.”

“Max. That was...” He said lying back down next to her closing his eyes. He couldn’t put it into words.

She looked at him. His perfect form. How could this be anything but right?

“Intense” she offered up.

He nodded “and fun?” he questioned looking down at her.

“Mm hmm.” She agreed and they lay next to each other, naked, hot, sticky, dripping wetness onto the bed, dirty, looking at the ceiling together. “I liked it…. All of it. You get what I like.”

“We’re just getting started kid.” He said squeezing her hand again, “Jeez, I’ve wanted you for so long Max.”

“Really?” she said. “Before today, I thought so differently.”

“I was an dumb ass. Forgive me Max.” he said turning to look at her face next to him.

“Yes.” She smiled looking into his eyes. They just stared at each other longer than she’s ever stared at someone and it felt good. He touched her hair and put it behind her ear. She touched his gorgeous face and his locks of soft curls.

She sighed “I’m a mess. I gotta pee. Don’t want a UTI!”

“Okay?” he smirked. She jumped up and he watched her naked body in the darkened room and perfectly round ass walk to the bathroom.

He waited a few minutes and knocked on the bathroom door slowly pushing it open. The bathroom was big for the city with a walk-in shower and a big glass door with blue tiles everywhere that even extended to a small seat in the back of the shower. There were lots of products too. It was clean.

“Wanna shower?” he asked as he watched her standing there naked, looking at herself in the mirror. She was gorgeous and her ass in the light was pretty red. He smirked.

“Together?” she felt exposed and wanted to cover herself up so she talked to his reflection in the mirror.

“Yes. You look pretty dirty.” He said in his low hot voice.

“So do you.”

“Are you giving me attitude?” he smiled.

“Yes.” She teased.

“I may have to punish you again.” He smiled turning on the shower water waiting for the temperature to get warm.

He stepped in and started lathering up. Oh, okay, they were actually showering together. She’d never done this before. Not with Lucas or any other guy. Maybe with a bathing suit on in an outdoor pool shower, but not naked showering with someone with the lights on. She spent years in their home in Indiana innocently listening by the locked door for Billy to hurry the fuck up and stop wasting all the hot water as she waited for the small shared bathroom, so it felt familiar but still really foreign.

“Come here” he said watching her watch him but not move. “You okay?”

“Just thinking” she said slowly turning around, and getting in quickly feeling the warm water wash away the grime of the city, the sweat, and stick from the hottest sex she ever had, and the smoke that was in her hair from just being out all night. “It’s just a lot.”

“Hmm… You sure you’re okay?” he moved close embracing her, rubbing her arms sweetly.

She nodded and took a breath. “This feels really good.”

She felt safe with Billy when she was close to him. Too far away and she started thinking too much, questioning it all. Regardless, it was just so much to process in such a short time. Now that they had actual sex, the thing she wanted for so long, she started ruminating about what was next, how things would change, what to tell people, but actually caught herself spinning out. No, she was going to live in the moment and not overanalyze. It’s Billy. He’s in this too she thought. She’s not alone. He promised.

He grabbed the body soap and lathered himself up. She did the same. He helped her rub the soap everywhere on her ass and spending time on her breasts letting the water clean them off. He pulled her towards him and started kissing her. It felt like a dream. Making out in the shower, the soft warm water on her back, and deep strong kisses that made her whimper softly and her stomach flip. Can you have an orgasm from intense kissing she wondered?

She could feel how hard he was again against her leg and with a little effort turned him around so his back was to the water now. She sat down on the little tile bench and he let her pull him towards her.

He was fully hard again, a cocky half smile appeared on his face as he watched her run her hands down his torso touching him gently, memorizing him. She gazed up, locking eyes, as she purposefully licked all the way from the top to the base back up to the top of his shaft again. She swirled her tongue around the tip and put him in her mouth sucking and teasing him. He closed his eyes throwing his head back. “Shit Max.”

He tangled one hand in her wet hair pushing her slightly the way he needed. She responded and let him go deep into her mouth and then out again over and over. He groaned low a few times and came quickly cursing under his breath. She didn’t swallow but let him come on her chest.

“Max, come here, that was so hot.” He said and turned her back under the shower kissing her passionately cleaning her off slowly and seductively playing with her chest, watching the water gently wash over her, her red hair wet and long down her back.

His one hand playing with her breast and nipple while the other hand ventured lower. The water added to the moisture helping him slide two fingers into her easily while he used his thumb to flick and circle above slowly, deliberately at first.

“You like this?” He whispered in her ear.

“Yes.” She responded eyes closed.

He moved faster in and out rocking against her knowing what she needed. She was sore from how hard he fucked her earlier, so he took his time thrusting gently until he could feel her respond with her sweet gasps and her sex pushing against his hand. She gripped his muscular arms and squeezed harder as she got close. He could feel her hips buckling, her body trembling, tightening around his fingers.

“Billy – I”

“Yes, come for me.”

He kissed her face as she cried out, another wave of pleasure cascading over her, making her legs weak collapsing into him. He kept kissing her and hugging her, holding her up. He couldn’t get enough of her. They held each other in the warm shower as he caressed her arm, her hair, and her face.

After awhile she pulled back starting to breath normally again, “So, um, I’m gonna wash my hair? I think… like by myself.”

“Okay, got it” he grinned taking the hint.

She needed a second. It was a lot.

“I mean, look at all these fancy products you freak. Do you like use all this stuff? I’ve never seen a guy’s bathroom with such nice stuff!”

“Hey” he laughed, “You know I like to look good.”

“You always did.” She smiled.

“Okay, I’ll be in bed.” He kissed her again, departing by sucking on her bottom lip claiming her, and got out. He closed the glass door that fogged up right away and she let out a considerable exhale.

She could hear him brushing his teeth, probably peeing, getting ready for bed. What the hell time was it anyway?

She couldn’t believe where she was. She needed a minute to process. Billy’s shower. Using his salon quality shampoo. The best sex she had ever had. Orgasms - three times in one night? Who was she? She realized she was smiling ear to ear and even found herself laughing out loud.

She got out, grabbed a fluffy towel, found a comb, and tried to get the knots out of her hair. She pulled up her hair with one of her hair ties she always had on her wrist. She figured it was probably okay to use his toothbrush at this point. She stared at herself in the mirror. She missed him. He was just in the other room. Billy.

Maybe she was obsessed with him again too. She knew she always was. She had pushed her infatuation so far in the back of her mind, but it never truly left, and now she was allowed to let it out again? Like a switch? Could she do that? She felt like she wasn’t allowed but she knew rationally there was nothing and no one holding her back.

“It’s okay!” she said out loud. She took a deep breath. It was an absolute relief to be true to her feelings and to reclaim herself. She sensed her body relaxing. She felt cathartic tears pool in her eyes. This is what she always needed.

Five minutes later, she climbed back into bed naked under the covers and cuddled up to him. She nuzzled her head near his shoulder, her hand rested on his muscular chest, and one leg wrapped around his casually. He had his arm around her, his other hand touching her body, her soft skin, anticipating the next time, slowly falling asleep.

“I’m exhausted” she realized thinking it must be almost morning at this point.

He instinctively pulled her even closer into him.

“This isn’t weird right?” she smiled.

“No, not weird at all.” He replied amused.

She closed her eyes ready for a deep sleep.

‘Max” he whispered hugging her tightly.

“Hmm.” She responded sleepily.

“You’re mine. I mean it.”

“That’s all I ever wanted.”

He hesitated and said “I think I love you.”

“Tell me when you know. Cause… I _know_ I love you.” she whispered looking up at him. “I always have.”

He smiled watching her best him. “I know kid.” He leaned in and kissed her slowly softly and then they fell asleep like that.

THE END

(extra ending … cause Max is funny.)

“Wait” She said loudly before they passed out, ”just to be clear… you know that _I_ love you, or you know _YOU_ love me.”

“Dork, to be clear, I am _in_ love with you.” He smirked. “My god, you’re ridiculous.”

Her heart flipped.

“Good.” She said falling blissfully asleep and it felt like the most normal thing anyone had ever said to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a the hardest chapter to write, to post, to finish, and I still have things I want to change. But hopefully it all came together and I did it justice. Thank you so very much for reading all the way to the end since I do tend to get bogged down with the details!

**Author's Note:**

> Aiming to do a chapter a week... hopefully. The first chapter is super long with the set up, but then it gets fun. Hope you all like this spin on these characters! THANKS!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Guilt (Growing Up Happens to Everyone)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25181995) by [lucdarling](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucdarling/pseuds/lucdarling)




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